


Once upon a time there was a DEA agent and a Narcos...

by martamatta



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Romance, Secret Relationship, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23599663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martamatta/pseuds/martamatta
Summary: "Do you think there are good people among the Narcos?" the old woman asks him.“I think humanity is screwed and it is naive to divide the world into black and white. People are complicated”, says Javier honestly.
Relationships: Hélmer "Pacho" Herrera/Javier Peña
Comments: 45
Kudos: 74





	1. The road you will find will be difficult...

**Author's Note:**

> Warning  
> 1- My native language is not English, therefore I apologize immediately for the errors you will find. I apologize even if the characters could be OOC. Be good we are doing our best ...
> 
> 2- I changed the past of our protagonists from the original story for plot reasons, changes that you will see later in the story. For the rest I follow the plot of the TV series.
> 
> 3- I don't know when I will update the story, it will depend on the attention it will attract, since it is the first time that I write for this fandom and I do not know how the reactions will be that I will receive.
> 
> 4-This chapter is quite long since I didn't want to cut certain scenes, therefore the others will be shorter than this or longer.
> 
> Thanks for your attention, for the rest I hope you like this story and I wish you a good read.

The capture of La Quica did not go well, Javier and Steve suspect that he and Pablo's men would return to find who was the spy. DEA agents tell the girls to leave the brothel that, regardless of who the culprit was, La Quica would hurt them all.  
Most prostitutes listen to the two DEA agents.  
One of them, Paola, trembles because she knows the cruelty of the Sicarios. Javier tries to comfort her and she begs him to prune her at her grandmother's house, out of town, she doesn't want to travel alone.  
Javier agrees and Steve gives him a mischievous smile.

Once away from the city streets, Paola calms down and thanks Javier for her availability. She guides him along the gravel roads, to a rustic, pretty and well-maintained wooden farm.  
An elderly woman welcomes them, you is not have to be a detective to understand that it was Paola's grandmother, Javier finds the woman's dress curious. She looked like an voodoo old woman, adorned with special jewels and colorful clothes.  
The elderly woman, Mariza, insists on thanking Javier and invites him inside, while Paola leaves them alone to rest.  
Mariza takes him to a small room: there are strange wooden figurines, tarot cards, bowls of spices and, in one corner, a small electric stove with a steaming hot water kettle.  
What strikes Javier is the smell of incense and other strong exotic scents which he cannot identify.  
"You and your colleagues have started a war", says Mariza, but her voice is not a reproach, but she is worried.  
“If we hadn't done anything, Escobar would now be in government. Do you really want a drug trafficker to pull the threads of politics?".  
“Don't get me wrong, Agent Peña, unfortunately you find yourself with a grenade in your hand without the safety catch. Most of the poor love Escobar because he gave money and built neighborhoods and houses. Maybe his acts of kindness were intentional, or maybe not, but in any case he bought people's affection and their approval”.  
Javier nods and Mariza gestures for him to sit down "Difficult times are waiting for you, Agent Peña, and too many people have already died for this."  
Javier sighs feeling the fatigue of these days, disconnected and confused moments, divided by hours and hours with his ass on a chair or crazy chases in the narrow streets of Medellín with armed boys hidden at every corner.  
"Sorry me" says Mariza in a maternal voice "I am really grateful to you for bringing my niece back, I am grateful for the work you are doing and I realize the stress you are subjected to".  
Javier nods "Thanks for your understanding, ma'am".  
"You're not married, are you?" Mariza smiles "You have not relationship".  
Javier blinks "How do you know?".  
"I read people, a talent that I have since I was a child," she says taking a terracotta cup and pouring hot water from the kettle.  
"You had an important love in America, but she went on with her life and you came here."  
Javier stares at her with his mouth open and stands up abruptly. "Who told you that? Are you a spy? Who do you work for? Escobar? Cali? CIA?".  
Mariza smiles affectionately "I don't work for anyone, Agent Peña, I can see through you".  
Javier  
bites his lip, believes her. He doesn't know why, but he believes her.  
"Do you think there are good people among the Narcos?" the old woman asks him.  
The man frowns "What question should it be?".  
"Beyond the fact that they sell poison to make money or kill to enforce their rules and break the laws of nations", continues Mariza, mixing various spices with hot water, "Do you think they are good fathers of family? Good husbands? Good and loyal people with their men or associates? Do some of them have remorse of conscience? This is why they give money to those who need it or to the families of the victims who have killed... ".  
“I think humanity is screwed and it is naive to divide the world into black and white. People are complicated”, says Javier honestly, he doesn't know where the old woman wants to go.  
Mariza turns to look at him offering him the steaming cup "I think you need not to think about work for one evening, Agent Peña, I think your spirit is full of loneliness and is tired of only casual sex, tired of waking up in a empty bed ".  
Javier takes the hot cup and is inebriated by the pleasant smells that the drink gives off.  
"What is that?".  
Mariza smiles maternal "Something that will help you relieve stress and give you what your heart desires, but the path you will find will be difficult."  
Javier nods, a little skeptical of these voodoo potions, "Thanks" takes a small curious sip.  
The taste is sweet and at the same time bitter, a strange balance of aromas. He realizes, only when his tongue licks the rim of the cup, that he has drunk all the hot drink. A pleasant warmth blossoms in the stomach.

Remember to say goodbye to madam Mariza and Paola. Remember he drove back to town. He remembers a nightclub a little too elegant by Medellín standards and something pushed him to enter. He remembers the loud music that reminded him of discos at home, in America. He remembers a sweet and charismatic voice speaking to his ear, deep and beautiful brown eyes... their bodies pressed together... skin against skin... mouth against mouth...

Javier wakes up slowly, his body is sore, but he has never been so relaxed. He blinks slowly as he realizes he is in his apartment, the morning light from the window announces a beautiful and fresh day. Javier, however, is not cold, something hot is press against him. An arm draped over his chest and something damp press against his side, as if the DEA agent were a pillow.  
Javier turns slowly, already from the appearance of the hand he realizes that it cannot be a woman, the man has his face pressed against Javier's side and is deeply asleep and at ease. The appearance of the stranger is pleasant and also quite warm. Flashes of the last night come back to him, he remembers the best sex he has ever had and he is sure that the man's face is familiar.  
Javier wants to kiss him, which is strange, he has always been kind to all his adventures, but never affectionate. Maybe it's because his body feels so satisfied that the handsome stranger deserves a reward. Maybe a coffee, a good breakfast would be better, it would be enough for Javier to free himself from the grip of the man without waking him, to go to the bar under the house to get coffee and something to eat.  
What if he doesn't like coffee? If you prefer tea or milk? What the fuck! Did he return to sixteen?  
The stranger makes a slight noise with his mouth, he move into the bed without waking up and removing his arm from Javier's chest. The DEA agent can now better see his face and trained body. God, Javier is sure he knows him. Maybe it would not be so strange, after all they fucked all last night and the pains of Javier's body confirm everything. The DEA agent admires the dark brown hair in the man's, they are lightened by the light of the sun that peeps through the windows.  
Javier is about to touch his beard him when the phone rings deafeningly causing him to have a heart attack.  
The DEA agent rushes out of bed and out of the room, putting on the first brief he finds among the clothes scattered on the ground.  
"Hello?" he answers taking breath.  
"Where the fuck are you?!" Steve's voice bursts across the line.  
Javier looks at his watch in surprise, it is later than he thought.  
"Fuck Steve! Sorry, I didn't think it was already this hour "he apologizes.  
"Have you been with that prostitute?".  
"What?".  
"The girl you were supposed to bring to your grandmother, did you get lost in your apartment?".  
“No, it's not what you think. He lived outside the city and I didn't realize I was so late".  
“Move Javi, I'll make you find a hot coffee. There could be developments on Escobar".  
"Okay, I'm coming", Javier ends the call, rubbing his eyes to chase away the last traces of sleep.  
"Was he a colleague of yours or your mother?" an amused voice comes from his shoulders. The stranger is leaning against the door jamb wearing Javier's open shirt and his brief. The bordeaux red shirt goes down to his thighs.  
"Hi" Javier greets him distracted by the other's exposed chest and by how the man approaches him like a cat.  
"They look good on you," he smiles.  
The DEA agent realizes that he is not wearing his briefs, they are golden and black made of some expensive fabric, and this explains why the other one is wearing Javier's clothes.  
"Sorry, I thought they were...", the stranger's lips silence him.  
The kiss is hungry, but it has a certain sweetness, the other man's hands rest on Javier's hips, he feels his beard scratch his face. The DEA agent lays his hands on the stranger's buttocks feeling them perfect in the his palm.  
When they move away from each other, Javier smiles embarrassed "Fuck, we had the most phenomenal sex of my life, but I don't even know your name".  
The man is not offended, on the contrary he laughs, "I agree on sex..." he whispers mischievously stroking him cheeks seductively "But I know everything about you, Agent Peña, and our meeting was something that I would never have predicted".  
The man dresses, he holds Javier's brief and shirt, as if he wants to keep a part of the DEA agent with him, and leave a part of himself in the apartment. Leave a splendid black shirt with white decorations draped over one of the chairs in the bedroom.  
“Then won't you tell me who you are and why you know those things about me? Are you an Escobar man?”.  
The stranger laughs as if Javier had said the funniest thing in the world.  
"I guess not..." concludes the DEA agent.  
"You guess well", says the man, pulling a ticket out of his pants pocket, it is the advertising ticket for the nightclub of last night, he places it on the living room table "In case you want to spend another evening of magnificent sex”.  
The man winks at him and is about to leave the apartment when Javier speaks "No goodbye kiss?". Something pushes the DEA agent to tease him and smiles as the stranger turns to look at him with a mixture of surprise and challenge.  
The man snorts and with two long steps is in front of Javier, the agent expects another kiss on the lips, instead of the stranger presses his mouth and teeth on Javier's neck leaving a deep mark.  
The stranger smiles satisfied and then turns and leaves leaving a confused, but excited Javier behind him.


	2. Hélmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier gets a name from his charming stranger...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty sweet, but not all of them will be because we will follow the events of the plot of the TV series and for our boys it won't be all pink and flowers.  
> Small note: between one paragraph and another there could be time jumps between one event and another, but I still follow the main events of the plot by making all the references.
> 
> Thank you very much for your kudos and comments, I will try to update them once a week.  
> Enjoy the reading.

"So, what was that prostitute like?" Steve asks, handing him the coffee. Javier takes it gratefully and they both sit in their seats.  
"It had to be a bomb," Steve comments peering at him.  
"What makes you say that?"  
"I've never seen you so relaxed since I met you."  
Javier shakes his head "It wasn't Paola...".  
"Not Paola...." asks the blonde with a mischievous smile "But someone was and we all know that you are a type who really likes sex, but I have never seen you with this aspect: relaxed, satisfied, cheerful... and after just one night ".  
“I accompanied Paola home,” explains Javier hastily. “Her grandmother offered me an excellent herbal tea to thank me and, while I was going home, I stopped in a nightclub. There I met someone whose name I don't even know, but I had a fantastic night. "  
"One night that left its mark" smiles Steve looking at the bruise on Javier's neck.  
The other covers him with his hand "It's not what you think...".  
"Sure...".  
"Enough of this nonsense and let's go back to work."  
Steve laughs proud that he has finally embarrassed his colleague with his sex life, but then they both resume the hunt for Escobar.

Escobar slipped through his fingers again! If that Pinzón idiot hadn't announced their arrival as a wedding march!  
Javier has just returned home and slams his fist against the hard wood of the table, sighing and gritting his teeth. Hate all this!  
Javier's hands tighten so tightly that his nails sink into his palms and he must force himself to calm down so as not to injure himself.  
His eyes move on the ticket left by the stranger, a couple of evenings have passed since their meeting, the DEA agent has never touched the ticket since then.  
Will I find him in that nightclub? Will he find someone else to spend a memorable night with? Something says no to him...  
He will never confess to anyone who sniffs the stranger's shirt every time he returns home.  
Eventually Javier retrieves the car keys, stores the nightclub's address and name and leaves his apartment.

Loud music, people dancing pretending that the hunt for Escobar doesn't exist. Here there are only sweaty and massed bodies who just want to dance or drink, to forget their problems.  
Javier has never been a great dancer, he is at the bar counter watching a lot of people going back and forth all over the place carrying more alcohol in one tray than in all of Medellín. Javier bets that the owner of this nightclub works for some narcos, he probably uses this place to launder money. The DEA agent shakes his head scolding himself for thinking about work, now he has only come here to relax.  
He has been here for about an hour and a couple of girls have approached him to get his attention, but he has kindly refused them, while enjoying these fantastic cocktails with a sweet taste.  
He rubs his neck, where by now the sign of love is fading and his eyes travel the entire room again... and all of a sudden there he is... sitting at one of the VIP tables, surrounded by various people. Men and women, but from their body languageit doesn't seem there for fun... are they his employees? Or colleagues in business?  
Javier shrugs his shoulders admiring the man's blue shirt clinging to his dry physique and the rebellious tufts of a neat hairstyle fall on his forehead. Javier is sure to smell his perfume even from this distance, the taste of his skin.  
Finally the man shifts his gaze to the bar counter and his eyes fit into those of the DEA agent. Javier smiles leaning his back on the counter and spreading his legs with a provocative smile.  
The serious face of the stranger falters and Javier is sure to have seen him blush, but it could be the colored lights of the club that play a bad joke on him.  
Eventually the stranger shrugs and goes back to his conversation. Javier does not know whether to be disappointed or amused... he wants to go there and drag him away, or to annoy him by sitting on his lap. It wants so much to waver, as before, that wall of calm that man always seems to have on him. The funny thing is that the DEA agent only wants to do it to tease or annoy him.  
In the end Javier bites his lip ungluing another cocktail and paying with a good tip.  
What was he thinking? Come here and... maybe he could still recover the Brazilian one with braids in his hair. Or perhaps it would be better to go home to rest and then, tomorrow morning, to bang your head on the desk looking for a miracle that would have brought him to Escobar.  
He is almost at the exit, when familiar hands grasp his hips and the sweet voice whispers in his ear "You are playing something dangerous, Agent Peña".  
Javier smiles as the man sniffs him hair.  
"I guess you still don't know my name...".  
"I honestly don't care," the DEA agent honestly replies. "I just don't want to think about work for a while, I just want to breathe".  
The man seems surprised by his answer, he doesn't know why, but Javier can imagine an affectionate smile forming on the lips of the other.  
"Call me Hélmer" gives him a light kiss on the neck "Dance with me...".  
The name says nothing to Javier, maybe it's not his real name or he is one of many, but he doesn't care.  
"I wasn't expecting anything else, but I warn you, I'm not much of a dancer."  
Hélmer takes his hand by dragging him onto the dance floor with a small laugh.  
They mix up among the various people, at the beginning they dance a classic from the late 70's, then the music becomes slow and they are clinging to each other.  
Javier sniffs the smell of Hélmer, resting his face in the hollow of his neck, he smells of some type of tequila and sea water, like the smell of bath salts, Javier loves those perfumes.  
They stare at each other for the second time tonight, with even more intensity than before and both know how this meeting will end.

The dawn comes too early for Pacho, stares at the wooden ceiling, while Javier is asleep on him. He finds it very amusing that the DEA agent doesn't know who he is fucking and doesn't even seem interested in finding out. Pacho is in no hurry to tell him and it is certain that sooner or later Javier will find out for himself, he will discover that he is fucking one of Cali's godparents.  
The DEA agent makes a noise with his mouth and then runs his tongue over his lips, but does not wake up, indeed Javier is pressed more against Pacho, surrounding him with his arms like a pillow.  
The narcos smiles and strokes him dark hair by uncovering his forehead, a DEA agent and a drug dealer, for this sentence Pacho knows that it will not last. Maybe it's the last time he'll see Javier Peña who isn't on the other side of a gun.  
Pacho kisses the other man's forehead and then closes his eyes trying to sleep a little more. He wonders why his body and Javier's are so in tune and he fears that he will never be satisfied with the DEA agent.

When Pacho wakes up, a few hours later, he is alone in the bed and feels a sort of disappointment curling in his chest when his hands clench the cold blankets.  
Where's Javier? Went to work? Or in the bathroom?  
He doesn't hear any noise in the apartment and Pacho sits in bed noting something interesting, that bastard left the shape of his teeth with a trickle of blood around his right nipple, but the narcos cannot blame him given the numerous bruises that left him between the neck and the back.  
He gets out of bed getting dressed and, when he is adjusting the sleeves of his blue shirt, the front door opens. Javier enters with two paper bags and takeaway glasses.  
"You're on your feet" greets him smiling.  
Pacho is surprised, he brought him breakfast, nobody had ever done it unless they were in some luxury hotel.  
"This is for me...?" he asks stupidly.  
"No, it's for my cat," Pacho frowns at the ironic answer, but then Javier pushes one of the takeaway glasses into his hands.  
"It's caffellatte, I didn't know what you preferred, there are also pancakes".  
Pacho blinks "It's... it's perfect..." smiles pleasantly surprised by these attentions from the DEA agent.  
"I didn't want to wake you up alone," Javier apologizes, placing one of the paper bags on the dining room table, then giving a quick kiss on Pacho's lips.  
The narcos looks at him with his mouth half open, and then shakes his head "I guess you have to go to work".  
“Yes, duty calls. I'm late, but I didn't want you to wake up without an explanation or an apology, I would have left you a note along with the pancakes. "  
Javier grabs the car keys "See you Hélmer" winks "Close the door well when you go out".  
Now it is the DEA agent who leaves Pacho behind him with his mouth open.  
It was very rare to surprise Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera and Javier Peña, he did it every time they met.  
The narcos touches his doubtful stomach, he does not know what this pleasant heat that filters from inside his body is.


	3. Daiquiri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don Berna makes a shocking discovery about Javier and our favorite DEA agent goes to look for Hélmer again in his nightclub, but things are not going as planned...

Horacio Carrillo dies in an Escobar trap and the morale of the search block is completely shattered.  
Steve and Javier are at their desks, both with a cigarette between their lips.  
The only thing that manages to distract Javier from the guilt over Carrillio's death, for trusting the wrong person, is Hélmer's body with the desire to go to him.  
Think about his mother too, right... today is that day...  
"I wonder if sooner or later all this will end..." murmurs Steve.  
Javier sighs "It will end one way: with the death of that bastard" he bites his lip rubbing his eyes "It's a fucking lie".  
Steve looks at him curiously.  
"Even with Escobar's death it won't end, there will be the Cali cartel, then someone else and so on ... until we are lucky enough to die or retire".  
Steve looks at him with his mouth contracted and then burst out laughing "Is retirement worse than death for you?!".  
Javier shrugs "This life never leaves you".  
The blond gives him a grateful nod for having lightened the atmosphere with a joke.  
"Who are the leaders of Cali?" Steve asks.  
“Gilberto Rodríguez is the boss, but he shares everything equally with his partners. His brother Miguel, dear Pacho and, I believe, the last partner is in New York".  
"Four heads, from what I know is that they will be more difficult to cut off".  
"Yes, the Rodríguez are bankers who love discretion, it will be a great challenge".  
Javier scratches his thoughtful chin "What is Pacho Herrera like?".  
"Have you ever met him?".  
"No, I don't know how it's done, but I've heard a few things about him".  
"Pacho is refined, hospitable, he is good with a words, but I bet my gun that would not hesitate to kill you if there was to be gained".  
"Why are they all the same?".  
Steve shrugs “What did you expect? What is the only thing that differentiates us between them and us?".  
"The law" they say in unison.  
The two take a thoughtful pause and Javier puts out his cigarette in the ashtray full of butts, at which moment the phone rings.  
Javier snorts answering "Peña".  
"Javi" the voice of Don Berna arrives light and placid in his ear.  
Javier tries to appear detached in Steve's eyes "Hey Juan, I'm busy at the moment" he replies using the name of one of the policemen he recently made friends with.  
"It's not just a matter of business" Don Berna speaks as if nothing had happened "Let's meet at the usual diner in an hour".  
"I don't think I'm in the mood".  
"See you after Javi".  
The line drops and Javier forces himself not to curse while maintaining a good poker face with Steve.  
Her colleague is taking documents from the desk. "I think it's best to leave it for tonight, given the mourning of the entire research block", he says, putting on his jacket.  
"You work at home?" Javier asks looking at the documents of the last interceptions held tight in Steve's hands.  
"They will distract me from drinking to death", shrugs Steve and then nods and leaves.

Don Berna is waiting for him in a secluded corner of the diner.  
"Javi, sit down" nods "I ordered for you too".  
"I'm not in the mood", the DEA agent says coldly sitting down in front of the narcos.  
"Too bad, they make the best Lechona in town, with a recipe that reminds me of my mother's cooking".  
"Why are we here? Escobar fucked us, killing our best chance of catching him".  
"I have to take you to Moncada, it has something you might find interesting".  
"Why should I follow you? It could be a trap".  
“You no longer have a chance, Javi, you might as well listen to what Judy has to offer you. Just listen, then you will decide".  
Javier snorts passing his hands over his face and thinking about whether to take this proposal seriously.  
Don Berna shrugs, changing the subject "I'm sorry for Horacio Carrillo, he didn't deserve to die like that".  
“I doubt you really mind, Carrillo was a great angry son of a bitch he would have turned to you after Escobar's death".  
Don Berna nods puffing "You are not entirely wrong, but he was the only man Escobar feared and now, with Carrillo out of the way, he will feel more confident".  
"He hates being weak, something tells me that if we push him too far, sooner or later, he will be so desperate to place bombs all over Medellín".  
The older man sighs in agreement and at that moment two full and steaming dishes arrive in front of the two men.  
Javier is about to leave, when the smell of good food hits his nostrils and his stomach points out that he hasn't swallowed anything other than coffee all day.  
Don Berna smiles satisfied as he observes the younger man eating cautiously.  
One, two mouthfuls... Javier's eyes widen in wonder, the flavors bring him back to his childhood, he shakes his free hand on the paper napkin remembering what day is today.  
"Javi..." the older man calls him "Are you feeling well?".  
"No..." the language of the DEA agent unlocks "It 's that... this dish reminds me of how my mother did it in Laredo, she was Colombian by origin".  
Don Berna's eyebrows frown "What's his name?".  
"Caterina Murillo".  
The fork in the older man's hand falls to the ground and Javier blinks observing how Don Berna hides his shock with the excuse of taking the fork back.  
"How small the world is" the older man clears his throat and tidies himself up, while another waitress brings him a clean fork.  
"She must be a strict woman, knowing the old Colombian mothers".  
"It was," says Javier. "It was an incredible woman".  
"What happened to her?"  
"Leukemia. Today is the twelfth anniversary of his death".  
"I'm sorry" Don Berna's lip trembles slightly, then grits his teeth breathing deeply.  
"And your father?" awkwardly changes the subject “Colombian too? Or American?".  
Javier smiles slightly "Mexican actually, originally from Sinaloa".  
Don Berna's grip falters again and hurries to finish his plate.  
"I'm going to smoke a cigarette" he gets up from his seat leaving the bill paid "Enjoy dinner, I'll wait outside" he takes his leave.  
Javier watches him leave as if hell is chasing him.

After meeting Judy Moncada, Javier goes to the nightclub, but Hélmer is not there. There are several girls and some boys to request his attention, but none of them are Hélemer. At least it is the conclusion with which his body justifies itself, since it withdraws at the touch of every stranger.  
This is ridiculous! Fuck! He was perhaps the greatest seducer of this nation and now his body was picky!  
He is the fifth person Javier has rejected since joining the nightclub, all the while the DEA agent had also pondered if it was a good idea to use criminals to take down other criminals.  
Javier rubs his eyes trying to shake off all the drama of the day and thinking of getting drunk to drown the guilt over the death of Horacio Carrillo.  
"Hey, honey" the bartender winks at him for the third time in that evening "Do you want something else to drink?".  
"Yes thanks. I would like a passion fruit daiquiri".  
"It's the fifth time I've seen you reject a suitor" the bartender is mixing the rum with the other ingredients.  
Javier observes his mastery "Maybe I have not found what I was looking for...".  
The barman smiles "Here, a passion fruit daiquiri are the boss's favorites".  
"Thanks" Javier takes the cocktail and immediately takes a sip.  
“So who are you looking for? Maybe I can help you".  
Javier bites his lip undecided, but then shrugs "I'm looking for Hélmer".  
The woman blinks in surprise "Mr. Herrera hasn't arrived yet".  
Javier's grip on the cocktail falters "What...?".  
"Mister Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera" confirms the bartender "Usually he keeps his presence in Cali, but he has several nightclubs throughout Colombia".  
Javier shakes his head placing the alcoholic drink on the counter "I'm afraid there is a mistake, it cannot be the same person".  
The bartender shrugs “Brown hair and eyes, short beard, rather tall and always wears beautiful and colorful shirts. Does your Hélmer match the description?”.  
Javier remains to stare at his cocktail, while the bartender apologizes for serving other customers.  
The DEA agent clenches his hands into fists, in a way he is not so surprised. Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera is why he was so familiar to him...  
Javier runs his hands over his face cursing. He had fucked a drug dealer!  
It was the worst thing he had ever done, maybe...where does the fact that he smoked weed and gave Larry Jackson a blowjob in the principal's office last year high school fit? Fuck, Javi! Stay focused!  
he had sex with Herrera not once, but twice! Literally in bed with the enemy, Javier is completely disgusted with himself, apparently he had hit rock bottom. In his defense he had no idea that Hélmer was that Hélmer, he didn't even use a false name, perhaps because everyone now calls him Pacho.  
Javier you are an idiot! If Steve knows, he will strangle him, unless Carrillo returns from the afterlife to drag him into a black hole.  
Javier gets up leaving the bill on the table, without even finishing his cocktail, he is about to turn around when familiar hands rest on his hips.  
"It's really a shame to leave a daiquiri like that" his lips whisper near right ear, lips moving to kiss the base of his neck.  
Excitement floods Javier's body, but is soon suffocated by a flush of anger and disgust.  
"They told me you weren't there."  
"I was busy with a phone call, but I was hoping to find you here."  
"I hope you enjoyed it" Javier's voice is so cold that Pacho freezes.  
The DEA agent turns so quickly that the narcos step back. Just look him in the eye to make Pacho understand what the problem is.  
"I guess we won't have sex tonight," murmurs the narcos, smiling mischievously.  
Javier acts instinctively, grabs the cocktail and spill out it over in Pacho's face.  
"The bartender said it's your favorite."  
The whole nightclub has stopped, even the music, everyone stares at the two men.  
Pacho is completely surprised, stares Javier Peña's angry gaze with his mouth open, this man is unpredictable.  
The DEA agent wants to yell at him, grab the gun and shoot him, arrest him or punch him. Instead his gaze follows the drops of the cocktail that come down from the neck and the impulse to lick them is very strong.  
Javier takes a step back biting his lip and then another step, until he turns away from the club.  
Pacho watches him go, does not feel anger at him, in the past they have spilled something worse on him than his favorite cocktail. Feels guilty... why the hell should he feel guilty!? It was always Javier who came to him, never the other way around! Why should he feel guilty?! Maybe it would have been better if he had told him her real name from the beginning...  
The nightclub's activities resume as if nothing had happened and Nevegante join him by giving him a clean towel.  
Pacho thanks him, the assassin does not judge, he is indifferent as always. Nevegante never gave a shit who or what he and his former bosses were fucking, the man is a gun that must be pointed to one side or the other. An aspect rather appreciated by Pacho and the conversations with him are quite pleasant.  
Nevegante is the only one who knows about the meetings between him and Agent Peña, after all he is in charge of protecting him.  
The second time he and Javier slept together, the killer waited for him all night in the car under the DEA agent's house.  
Pacho brought him a couple of his pancakes for breakfast and the whole Nevegante affair said only one thing: "It's a dangerous game, boss, but I didn't imagine that Agent Peña was so fond of his lovers, from what I've heard he has never been affectionate to any of his previous lovers".  
That was the only time they talked about the topic.  
Eventually Pacho snorts and exits in the cool night "Let's go back to Cali, we have a wedding tomorrow".

Javier comes home, slams the keys on the table and closes the front door with too much violence. He has a great desire to hit something or destroy it, instead he presses his face into the bed pillow and screams completely pissed. He forces himself to calm down, but his gaze rests on Pacho's shirt draped softly on the chair near the bed.  
Javier grabs it with the intention of tearing it, instead he presses his nose on the fabric. He only now realizes how his heart is shaken and hurt.  
Fuck... fuck! FUCK! What's this!? A gay romance novel !?  
We are in the world of narcos, the mere fact of thinking of Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera in that way was absurd and, at the same time, dangerous.  
If someone on Javier's side finds out what they have done, he would be fucked and suspended, if not fired. And if someone on Pacho's side knows what they have done, they could exploit the DEA agent with blackmail or, eventually, Pacho could manipulate him to get information out.  
Javier lies down on the bed with his shirt still on his nose and closes his eyes. It doesn't matter... it was just two fucks and probably the next time they meet they'll be from behind a gun.


	4. A wedding bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both our boys are troubled by how they broke up the last time they met, but a tragic event will bring them closer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> thank you for following this story and I apologize very much for the errors you have encountered.  
> I just wanted to repeat the fact that I changed the past of our protagonists, so there will be few points in common with the original story.  
> Thanks again to everyone for the support and happy reading.

A wedding bomb

When Javier Peña is with a contracted mouth and sunglasses, it is better not to break his balls.  
"Hey, good morning, agent Peña" greets one of the policemen.  
"Fuck you" he replies scornfully and returning to his interceptions.  
Poor boy, he is not the first and will not be the last today.  
Steve hands over a coffee "You're in a sunny mood today" sarcastic he note.  
"Fuck you" Javier replies grabbing the coffee without looking at his colleague.  
"Maybe it's better if I brought you some sedative or valerian”.  
The other does not reply, he sips the coffee changing the page from his report.  
"Can you know what's wrong with you?".  
"It's none of your business, Murphy", he replies dryly.  
Steve shrugs "It seems to me that it's interfering with everyone's work and morale".  
Javier snorts "It's a personal thing".  
“Is the girl you had sex with? You danced after seeing it".  
Steve knows he is right when Javier violently throws the papers on the desk and growls at his colleague.  
"Fuck you Steve!".  
The blonde remains impassive, while all the men around them block their activities by staring at them.  
Javier realizes how his behavior affects others. He takes a deep breath taking off his glasses and running his hands over his face "Sorry...".  
Steve smiles sympathetically "Ok, it's none of my business, but when you are ready to speak I am there, okay?".  
Javier nods "As soon as I understand something I'll give you a whistle":

Manuel came to see him that morning while wasting some time in the hot tub.  
Pacho has experienced some melancholy since last night.  
Manuel arrives in a swimsuit, the sun makes his dark skin and perfect curls shine.  
How can it be Javier as he is in a bathing suit...?  
Pacho snorts focusing on Manuel, the man gives him a seductive look as he enters the water.  
"I missed you, Pacho" he whispers as he approaches the narcos.  
Manuel's eyes narrow as he observes the bite scar around Pacho's right nipple.  
"Did you have fun in Medellín?" she says kissing the scar and then taking the nipple between her teeth.  
Pacho withdraws slightly back, as Manuel passes his lips up on the navel biting the skin.  
Manuel is touching him as he always has, but there is something different, Pacho's body does not react as he usually does, he seems distant and distracted.  
"What do you have?" Manuel asks softly.  
The narcos blinks "I... nothing, it's all right".  
The lover shakes his head and runs his hand over the bite scar.  
"Is it who did this to you that distracts you?"  
"What? No "replies Pacho too quickly" It's that the trip and the whole situation with Escobar and Los Pepes, I'm pretty tired. "  
Manuel nods kissing his cheeks "Then let me take care of you", his hand goes down to Pacho's groin and boldly touches the penis with delicate hands, but he is determined.  
Pacho frowns as his body seems not to be interested in sex.  
The smile on Manuel's face goes off, silently he leaves the tub and leaves Pacho alone, who stares at him completely snapped by himself.  
He had never turned down Manuel before, what's happening to him?

The wedding is gorgeous and the room is full of people.  
Pacho is at the bar drinking some tequila, avoid the daiquiri for tonight... he can't enjoy the party, he can't enjoy anything since Javier poured the cocktail on him. The DEA agent is a constant fixed nail.  
Someone puts a hand on his shoulder "Hey Pachito" Gilberto's voice reaches his ears "Can you explain something to me?".  
"What...?" Pacho asks looking at his boss.  
"Does it seem like a funeral?"  
The younger man blinks "What?".  
"No" Gilberto replies for him "It's not a funeral, it's a wedding. It's my little girl's wedding to be precise. "  
"Yes, sir".  
"So" the older man sits next to him "Why do you have that funeral face?".  
"It's nothing...".  
"It's nothing? The last time I saw you seriously disturbed was because of Claudio Salazar, and it was years ago. So I think it's not business, but something personal".  
Pacho shrugs and finishes the glass of tequila, he is always amazed at how Gilberto knows him. Maybe he really is the father he never had.  
"It's nothing to worry about, it won't interfere with work".  
"I know that business comes first for you, Pachito, but we are human beings".  
Pacho sighs not really knowing what to say to him.  
“Is for Manuel? Are things not going well between you? ”.  
"No, Manuel and I don't have that kind of relationship, we're just friends who sometimes have sex together".  
"So who took the king's throne?".  
"What makes you think it's a man?".  
“You are at a fantastic Colombian wedding, organized by the richest man in the nation, and you have that face. The face of a man in pain. "  
Pacho snorts "I've recently been with a guy in Medellín a couple of times, nothing special".  
"Nothing special..." Gilberto nods not convinced "And you can't get that boy out of your head".  
Pacho nods "In a way, but I don't want to bore you with this nonsense."  
"Love can be complicated".  
"Love?" Pacho laughs considering the idea absurd "We had sex a couple of times and, believe me, we could never have that relationship".  
Gilberto pats him on the shoulder “I hope to meet this lucky guy, I don't care what your father said to you. You deserve to fall in love, Pachito”.  
Cali's chief gives him a small kiss on the side of his paternal forehead and then gets up and returns to the party.  
Why is everyone against Pacho's common sense?  
He is reflecting on this and then the explosion ...

The colonel's son was about to blow his head off those crazy Castaños.  
Javier did not think that screaming at them would help, but apparently they are not as stupid as he thought, perhaps they did not want to waste ammunition.  
Javier exits the car closing the garage and then goes to his apartment. The thing he finds strange is the vague smell of ash and concrete.  
Javier remains with his mouth open as soon as he sees Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera, is leaning against the wall opposite the door of his apartment. He wears an elegant suit, but worn and dirty with a strong smell, as if he had gone through a construction site.  
As soon as he hears Javier coming, Pacho turns to him, detaching himself from the wall and stares at him with a strange expression, as if he is not sure that the DEA agent is real.  
What the fuck happened to him?!  
Pacho bites his lip and quickly cuts the distance between the two of them. Instinctively Javier grabs the gun from his belt, as the narcos grabs his shoulders brutally, but then the grip on the gun melts as their lips touch in a hungry and desperate kiss.  
"Fuck me until I fall unconscious..." says Pacho, the voice a mixture of desire and despair.  
Javier swallows the lump in throat, he doesn't feel the anger and disgust of last night, but the desire to comfort him. If Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera is so upset something very serious have happened...  
The agent of the DEA opens the door of the apartment "It would be better to give you a clean".

They have sex in the shower for a long time and in the end they are on the bed, naked and embraced in the middle of the sheets.  
"When the bomb went off" Pacho whispers with his face buried in Javier's stomach "I had a thousand thoughts in my head: if it were real, if I was alive, if my family was fine, if I could see you again. That's why I'm here... ".  
"A bomb at a wedding" Javier reflects carelessly stroking Pacho's hair "Why am I not surprised that this is something he would do?".  
Pacho nods looking Javier in the eye, reaches out teasing the other man's mustache.  
"Since we first had sex I can't get you out of my head."  
Javier nibbles his fingers smiling mischievously.  
"What did you do to me, Agent Peña?" asks Pacho, but there is no accusation in his tone, only confusion.  
Javier sighs "We are addicted to each other", he replies, then intensely stares at Pacho's face as he crawls closer to him.  
"We are both idiots", says Pacho resignedly.  
"Yes, we are," Javier agrees. "We are both screwed".  
The lips of the narcos rest on his for digging into his mouth, but Javier fights the desire to let go.  
They separate from each other and the DEA agent sits in the bed running his hands over his face "We have no future, Hélemer" he says honestly "We come from two different worlds, we are different...".  
"It seems a bit hypocritical to me said by the agent who passes information to the Los Pepes" comments Pacho tracing the back of his lover with his fingers.  
Javier has a nervous laugh "Fuck, how do you think it will end? Will we get married and ride into the sunset? Gay marriages are not legal yet...".  
"I can wait another ten years," replies Pacho smiling mischievously. "But it seems a bit early to talk about marriage, don't you think?".  
The DEA agent snorts, resting his back on the mattress to fix the ceiling.  
"How do I know you're not taking advantage of the situation to manipulate me against the DEA?" Javier asks doubtfully.  
"How do I know you're not taking advantage of my weakness towards you to manipulate me against my partners?" Pacho replies in the same tone.  
Javier nods with a laugh and instinctively grabs Pacho's hand as he runs his fingers over the warm skin of his entire arm.  
“When Escobar will be dead, I will go back to Texas or send me to investigate you and your associates. We are both men loyal to our cause and our work, we will end up clashing or killing each other...".  
Pacho sighs aware of all this and begins to make small circles around Javier's nipple "Why don't we enjoy it now and, when the hunt for Escobar is over, will we talk about it again?".  
“Very diplomatic. The smartest thing to do would be to never see each other again and give up whatever we two have, before things get complicated".  
“Haven't we tried it yet? We are Javi humans and we both know that we are lustful idiots".  
"I myself expect to do such bullshit, but from what I know about Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera, it's not really what you would do."  
Pacho nods kissing the stomach of the DEA agent "There is something in you that pushes me to abandon the logic and the wall with which I protect myself since I was a boy, composed of indifference and coldness".  
Javier bites his lip "So said, it's a little scary...".  
Pacho shrugs "Tell me" change the subject "Am I your first man?".  
"No" Javier replies stroking his hair "I lost my virginity to a boy at 16, in the office of my school principal".  
Pacho snorts a laugh "A little criminal you've always been there".  
Javier shakes his head “I was 16 and they do a lot of stupid things. However, I am bisexual, I was with a girl for many years before joining the DEA".  
"And where is this girl?".  
“In Laredo, happily married with two children. Aside from her and my first boyfriend, there has never been another serious story in my life. It's risky, especially if you do this job".  
"It could be too dangerous" says Pacho.  
"You instead? It is already difficult in America”.  
Javier knows that he hit a sore button as Pacho clenches his fists slightly.  
"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to...".  
The narcos gives him a quick kiss on the lips and then gets out of bed and stares at the large bedroom window. Javier has a complete view of his beautiful ass and is convinced that Pacho is about to take his things and leave, instead he sighs placing his hands on the sides of the window observing the city lights.  
“For years I have been repulsed for my inclinations, I have had suspicions for my sexual orientation at 13 years old. My friends admired the young women who passed on the sidewalk of our street, but I was attracted to the uncovered arms of workers and peasants. I was very afraid of those impulses, but I had to be sure of it, so at 16 I found a peer of mine with my own doubts and we experimented in my room".  
Javier sits on the edge of the bed "Your father caught you, didn't he?".  
Pacho bites his lip nodding “My father was never a saint and when he saw us kissing us he freaked out.He threw the boy I was with out of the house and then beat me. 'You are nothing, you are not a man, you will never be anything', he said with hatred and disgust. He kicked me out of the house, my mother didn't do or say anything. The only one who defended me was my brother, but what could a 5 year old really do? I promised him that I would come back and get him, to take him away from that house".  
Javier got up and rested his head on Pacho's back kissing the back of his neck.  
"Were you able to take your brother away?".  
Pacho grabs the arms of the DEA agent so that they surround him and he feel his warmth.  
"Yes, my brother is a nice boy who loves tequila".  
"He is not...".  
"No, I try not to involve him in my business".  
"I'm sorry about what happened to you".  
“Don't be, with his actions my father has filled me with determination and anger. I wanted to make him regret what he said, to show him that loving another male does not make me less of a man".  
"Your father was a jerk", comments Javier making Pacho laugh.

Even that morning Javier brings him breakfast, they talk about various things, except their respective jobs. An unspoken pact between the two of them, at least until Escobar is out of the games.  
"You probably won't see me for a couple of days" says Pacho as he sips the last drops of his coffee with latte.  
"Business trip?".  
"Yes, we will meet again on my return".  
"I imagine that after the bomb at the wedding, your friends from Cali want to cut balls off dear Pablito".  
“You're right, Gilberto is furious, I don't blame him. Putting a bomb on a wedding...".  
Javier nods, but is distracted and looks out the window of the small living room.  
Pacho caresses the closest hand of the DEA agent.  
"You're disturbed, is it about our relationship?".  
Javier instinctively shakes hands with the narcos "No, I was thinking of the Castaño...".  
"What exactly?".  
"The reason I was so late last night, the guerrillas killed Blackie's family, a pregnant woman with all her relatives...".  
"I don't approve of their methods".  
“Do you think it is not a bullshit to rely on those guerrillas? They are cruel and have no limit".  
"It's the same thing Gilberto said to me a few days ago".  
"It is comforting to know that a godfather of drug trafficking thinks like me".  
"What could we have done against Escobar?".  
"You don't care, do you?" Javier moves away from Pacho's grip “Gilberto only cares about his image and you? You don't care".  
"To fight this war sacrifices must be made".  
The DEA agent slams his fists on the table and stares angrily at the narcos "No sacrifices that are not necessary!".  
Pacho remains impassive by his tone, sighs modifying his relaxed position to lean towards the other man "I'm not a monster, Javier, I don't like some actions and gratuitous violence that the Castaño do to their victims, but I'm not even a saint . If someone has done me a rather serious wrong or threatens my family, I would not hesitate to kill him, the way I kill him depends on his actions".  
Saying this Pacho clenches his fists thinking of a man in particular and has been repeating himself for years, several times, that sooner or later he will kill him in the most cruel way possible.  
"It would have been childish and stupid to believe that you think differently, I appreciate that you are honest" says Javier calmly.  
Pacho gives a slight smile as he leans on the chair.  
"But" resumes Javier's speech "If I were the threat?".  
The narcos frowns, while the DEA agent approaches him like a cat with prey.  
"If the DEA would hunt you down, you and your family, what would you do?".  
Javier kneels placing his hands on Pacho's thighs, their faces a few inches apart.  
“Would you make me disappear? Would you torture me and then kill me like a dog? How did the Mexicans do to Agent Camarena a few years ago?”.  
Javier's hand takes Pacho's and wraps it around his neck. "Would you bury me in the jungle? Would you cut me in pieces like the victims of the guerrillas? Would you put a bomb in my car like Escobar would do? Would you shoot me on the street?".  
Pacho remains relentless and illegible as it always is.  
“What would you do, Hélemer, to protect your family? What would you do if you have to choose between me and them? What would you do if you have to choose between money and love?".  
Pacho is quite thoughtful, even if he doesn't show it to the other man, both know that their relationship cannot end well.  
The narcos loosens his grip on Javier's neck and presses his fingers on the skin, massaging it slowly, then grasps the face of the DEA agent, bringing him closer to him. They exchange a deep kiss.  
"To tell the truth, Javi, it would be stupid to kill a DEA agent" Pacho finally replies.


	5. Javier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier has another chat with Don Berna while Pacho is in Miami.

Javier meets Don Berna a few hours after he leaves with Pacho and gives him the name of Fernando Duque. The older man admits that Judy Moncada made a mistake in relying on the Los Pepes.  
"Is there something that disturbs you, Javi?" asks the older man.  
"No... it's just that...", there has always been something that pushed the DEA agent to trust Don Berna, as an instinct.  
"You are married?".  
The question makes the older man frown with pure surprise, "Yes" answers.  
"What does your wife know about your job...?".  
“She is not a stupid woman, she only knows that I deal with security for a wealthy family, but she will have put the pieces together. We never talk about my job".  
“Aren't you afraid of getting killed or ending up in prison? What drives men like you to make this life?".  
“I can't speak for all men, Javi, but I like my job and I can tell you two other things: it's the easiest way, in terms of money, and we haven't known anything else. We have always been trapped in misery and in a violent reality in this life, it seems to you something horrible and unacceptable, but for us it is the norm. I was born and raised in a trafficking family".  
Javier sighs, running his hands over his face.  
"Why are you asking me this?" asks Don Bern "you try to get into the head of a narcos?".  
"No..." Javier shakes his head "Or maybe yes ... maybe just in the head of one...".  
The older man leans over to him "Are you fond of someone Javi? Someone you shouldn't be fond of?".  
Don Berna knows he has hit the mark as the DEA agent seems to shiver and, of course, is vague.  
"Don't worry, just a simple curiosity" Javier pulls out his wallet leaving some banknotes "Today I offer lunch" he says and then gets up and leaves.  
"Javi" calls him Don Berna and then bites his tongue, as if he had changed his mind about what he wants to say to him, "Be careful".  
The DEA agent nods and then leaves the restaurant, the older man sighs. He must call Nevegante to ask him something, after all he owed him a favor ...

Business in Miami was going well and Leon had been very valuable. Pacho watches the sun jump into the ocean, thinking about the days spent here, Nevegante accompanied him everywhere to protect him, while updating him on the situation in Colombia.  
Pacho wonders how Javier is doing and cannot deny himself that he longs for the hot body of the DEA agent against his. His hand moves to his right nipple tickling the small scars, the mark that Javier has imprinted on him during sex.  
Pacho sighs, Gilberto, Miguel and Chepe are his family and Javier is just a man he had sex with a few times and offered him the best pancakes he had ever eaten. Or, perhaps, it was the fact that it was the spontaneous and unexpected gesture of offering him breakfast that made the food delicious.  
Pacho snorts chasing away these thoughts, this story cannot have a happy ending and the knocking of the door makes the man turn towards the entrance.  
Nevegante has the free evening under the advice of the narcos, but Pacho knows perfectly how to use the small gun hidden in the deep pocket of his pants.  
"Who is it?".  
"Leon, Pacho" says the man on the other side.  
The narcos checks from the peephole of the door and the other one seems to be alone and unarmed, he brings with him some excellent champagne and two crystal glasses.  
"Good evening, Leon" Pacho warmly welcomes him inviting him to enter.  
"I know you will meet the rest of my team tomorrow, but I thought I'd celebrate our deal anyway".  
"You never say no to a good champagne, so Gilberto taught me".  
They sit on the small terrace enjoying the cool evening breeze. Leon uncorks the bottle and fills the glasses. Pacho wonders if Javier likes champagne, he looked more like a whiskey type, although he noticed that he likes sweet-tasting cocktails.  
Pacho blinks concentrating on his host and trying to get all thoughts away from the DEA agent.  
The two men talk about various things, mostly Leon tells him how different it was to live here in Miami, how some things are different in America.  
"It's the reason I stayed here" Leon says, sliding his hand over Pacho's thigh. "To be myself, nobody says anything about our preferences here".  
Pacho frowns as Leon's hand slides higher and his face gets closer.  
"Here I can love who I really want," Leon whispers sensual and is about to kiss Pacho, if it were not that him to gently move away.  
His body pinches where Leon is touching him, now it's the touch of another man who craves.  
Leon seems surprised and disappointed by Pacho's reaction, the narcos feels a little guilty. Leon is an attractive boy and perhaps too good for the world in which they are entangled.  
"Sorry, but..." - you are not Javier - "I don't go out or have sex with colleagues, especially at the beginning of working relationships".  
Leon nods, taking his hand away from the man's side "Excuse me, I thought that...".  
"You haven't done anything wrong" Pacho reassures him "But I prefer to be cautious, sometimes mere sex can lead to something else that compromises working relationships".  
Leon takes a long sip from his glass "I understand...".  
Pacho apologizes with a nod.  
"Isn't that just an excuse by chance?" Leon smiles relaxing on the chair "And is there anyone waiting for you in Colombia?".  
Pacho snorts a laugh, but doesn't answer the question, choosing to take a sip of his champagne.  
“Is he the famous Manuel? I heard you were talking to Nevegante about it in the car".  
Manuel... Manuel is a good man and hasn't spoken to Pacho since the wedding day. He seems to be troubled by something, but the narcos has always considered him a rather close friend, not someone to have a serious relationship with. Maybe Manuel didn't think the same thing...  
"What Javier and I have is just sex, nothing more" replies Pacho, then bites his lip noticing the name he said.  
Leon looks him in the eyes "Javier...?".  
"Manuel" corrects himself Pacho "I meant Manuel".  
"Of course," he smiles mischievously "If I know one thing, Mr. Herrera, it's that when we talk about love, we're never wrong."  
Pacho almost laughs at the absurdity of the idea "Love is an obstacle".  
This broadens Leon's smile and raises the glass of champagne towards Pacho "I hope Javier knows how lucky he is".  
The narcos responds with a slightly hysterical laugh. Before he was sorry to kill Leon, now perhaps he wouldn't have felt all this remorse.


	6. I want to tell you a story, Pachito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don Berna and Pacho have a long chat and Javier has to go back to America.

To be honest, he is a little sorry to kill Leon, but he was not a reliable man. After a better offer had been made, had he turned his back on Escobar, who said he would not do the same with them in the future?  
Nevegante has almost arrived in Medellín under Pacho's order. Who knows how Javier is doing, the Los Pepes seem pissed at him because he hadn't been able to find the information they were looking for, but Pacho suspects that the DEA agent refused to talk to them to avoid another massacre. Useless since someone passed the information on to the guerrillas, Fernando Duque and his son were brutally killed.  
And apparently, Judy Moncada has become a CIA informant by leaving Medellín's drug trade to Don Berna with Gilberto's agreement.  
Pacho wonders if Don Berna is not too soft, he has done everything not to have his former boss killed, but he realizes he admires him. He is an honest man who has not resorted to violence and has kept a person he is fond.  
Pacho frowns as he realizes that the road they are traveling is unfamiliar.  
"Nevegante, what's going on?."  
"Just a detour, boss, don't worry".  
"What?".  
"Someone wants to talk to you".  
They arrive at a rather modest villa on the outskirts of the city. Nevegante makes him get out of the car and guides him towards the house. There are a couple of gunmen who take a curious look at the narcos.  
The sicario stops at the entrance to a porch and beckons Pacho to continue alone.  
The porch is beautiful and made of wood. Don Berna turns his back on him, he is cutting meat with a cleaver and knives.  
"Don Berna..." greets Pacho.  
"I want to tell you a story, Pachito" interrupts the older man without turning around.  
Pacho bites his lip “Does it concern Los Pepes? Or any contrast with Gilberto?".  
"It's not about business, it's a personal matter".  
Don Berna turns to look him in the eye for a few seconds, then grabs a large and sharp knife to cut thin slices of meat.  
“About 50 years ago, there was a boy who became the brother of a beautiful little girl. They lived in this house and their family ran a curious company, they trafficked in opium and marijuana from Mexico throughout South America. Compared to what we do today it was a small business, but still thriving".  
Don Berna takes a break by arranging the slices of meat neatly on one side and then wiping his hands with a clean tea towel.  
“The father of the children taught them the trade, brother and sister were very close and grew healthy here in Medellín. When they were about twenty years old the father took them to Sinaloa, where his Mexican partner had the most flourishing plantation".  
Don Berna takes the cleaver in his hand and begins to separate the bones from each other with surprising strength.  
Pacho doesn't know why, but a shiver runs over his back, where does the old man want to go?  
“The girl was now a young woman and, in Sinaloa, she met one of the grandchildren of her father's Mexican partner, mainly this boy cultivated the marijuana and was also quite good. But that young man didn't like that environment, that life, Mexico's free violence and government corruption".  
Don Berna puts the freshly cut meat back in order.  
"The woman and that man fell in love and he promised to take her to America, away from their families, in search of an honest and better life that does not include illegal goods and violence".  
Don Berna grabs another large piece of meat and then breaks it into equal parts and removes excess fat.  
“Obviously I don't need to tell you that both families of the two lovers were strongly against these ideas. The brother quarreled a lot with his sister and the young woman showed her brother the small swelling of his stomach. She was pregnant and would not allow the baby to be born in this environment. The young woman was enchanted by the dream of the man she loved and so they decided to run away together".  
Don Berna grabs the cleaver again “From what I could find, the man bought a farm in Laredo, Texas and worked hard to give a dignified life to his wife and son. A marijuana grower and a trafficker together, a Mexican and a Colombian... ".  
"What should this story mean?" Pacho asks impatiently.  
"I'm not finished yet, Pachito" says Don Berna, wiping his hands and the cleaver's blade. "A few years ago I was introduced to a man in his thirties with the same name and appearance as my father. Now that I think about it, I was really a fool to not have made the connection immediately, mistaking these similarities for a trivial coincidence".  
Don Berna puts aside the dishcloth and approaches Pacho with the cleaver in his hand "Think about the irony when your nephew doesn't know who you are and is an agent of the DEA".  
Pacho's eyes widen in pure shock "What does this have to do with me?" he asks very cautiously.  
"I told you, it's not about business" continues Don Berna placing the cold blade under the neck of the younger man, who tries to remain impassive.  
"I don't care what you and Javier have, I don't care if it's just sex or something more, but if you try to manipulate him for your business or physically harm him, there will be no hole where you can hide , Pachito. Javier is an adult man, but he has the same eyes as his mother and I see the same passion that my sister had when she ran away with Chuco, with the difference that you are not an honest man and you will not take advantage of it".  
Pacho is completely blown away by the whole conversation, at first he thought it was a business meeting and then an execution, but he had never imagined that in reality it could be a sort of paternal speech for Javier's well-being.  
"I can assure you, Don Berna, that you will never harm him".  
"If it is not convenient for you", says the scornful older man, then sighs as he removes the blade from Pacho's neck.  
"Anyway, I doubt it matters now" whispers Don Berna.  
"What?" Pacho observes the face of the older man looking for a clue.  
"Tonight treat my nephew well, Pachito, I'll just tell you this".  
The narcos is going to insist, but he desists knowing that the other one would not answer him.  
"And, Pacho?" adds Don Berna "Javier does not know anything about the blood bond that we have, for your sake and his, you make it remain so".

Javier wants to hit Bill right now, but forces himself to clench his fists and hold back.  
The CIA agent pulls out an envelope and hands it to Javier who takes it and opens it.  
"I would not want your position to be compromised more".  
Javier's eyes widen in shock as he sees various photos of him and Pacho: some were taken in the nightclub and the others in the DEA agent's apartment, depicting the two men having sex, probably shot with a lens from a terrace or from a nearby roof to get a good shot of the bedroom window. Javier never liked that window...  
"Now we can do two things" Bill continues. "You can easily return to America, without making a fuss, taking those pictures with you and doing what you want".  
Javier puts the photos back in the envelope and squeezes it tightly so as not to hit the other in the face.  
"Or these photos could have gone to the Search Block and all of Colombia ruining your career and probably creating some problems for your boyfriend".  
Javier forces himself to nod slowly, putting the envelope in his jacket.  
"Excellent choice, Agent Peña, and don't take it, you're an excellent agent" Bill pats him on the shoulder as he passes him to leave the room "And congratulations, Mr. Herrera is undoubtedly a handsome man, you deserve a pause".  
Javier waits for Bill's footsteps to go away and then slams his fist on the desk and represses a angry cry.

Javier is packing his things in the suitcase, when they ring at the door, he is relieved to see Pacho with envelopes full of food.  
"Hey" smiles the narcos "I took the dinner from a fantastic Mexican restaurant."  
Javier gives him a quick kiss on the lips and makes him sit down.  
Pacho stops noticing the closed suitcase near the bed.  
"Yes" says the DEA agent as she arranges dinner in the kitchen. "They'll send me back to America tomorrow".  
"Why?".  
“I was suspended and investigated for passing information to Los Pepes. I'll probably go to court".  
"You did what you had to, take Escobar at any cost".  
"Yes, I had innocent people killed by breaking the law".  
Pacho sighs rubbing his eyes, he is not the ideal person to talk to about these things.  
"So this is the last time we see each other?" asks the narcos.  
"Probably".  
Javier arranges the dishes on the table, but is blocked by Pacho's arms that wrap around his stomach and draw him to his chest.  
"You are a formidable lover and you entered me, in every sense".  
Javier snorts a laugh "You're a maniac".  
"The one who left me a permanent scar in the shape of a bite on the right nipple speaks".  
"be careful, Hélmer, I could also mark the other nipple".  
"Repeat it".  
"What? Nipple?".  
“No, my name. Repeat my name".  
"Hélmer...".  
Pacho gives him a kiss on the back of the neck "You're the only one who calls me by my real name".

They eat and talk, Javier tells him about Duque and the operation to capture Escobar through La Quica, the disappearance of the drug trafficker and his suspension. Along with the threat that the CIA would make photos of their meetings public if the DEA agent creates any problems.  
"What an asshole" comments Pacho referring to Bill, then smiles mischievously "Can I see them?".  
Javier tossed him a balled up napkin, looking up at the sky, the narcos laughs as the piece of paper hits his chest and falls on the table, then the DEA agent passes the envelope to him.  
Pacho makes several comments between disbelief and fun. "But how did they do it without us noticing...?! You have to be close to take this picture... I remember this moment, you screamed loudly... this is worthy of a gay porn magazine!".  
"Are you done?" Javier asks impatiently "I'm going to burn them" confirms the sentence by pulling the lighter out of his pocket.  
Pacho smiles sweetly "Can I keep this?" he asks showing the photo that represents them dancing slowly at the nightclub, they are hugging each other.  
"Your face is not seen" explains Pacho. "So, if someone sees the photo, they won't know who my knight is".  
"He's getting sentimental, Mr. Herrera" Javier agrees, taking the rest of the photos and then burning them in the kitchen sink.  
“What can I tell you Javi? You entered me..." he smiles mischievously.  
"I guess I'll have to leave you another mark on that nice ass."

The next morning Javier is already dressed and Pacho stares at him from the bed.  
"In the end we are there" says the narcos "Do you want me to accompany you to the airport?".  
"Don't worry, Steve will pick me up soon".  
Javier sits on the edge of the bed and Pacho wraps his arms around his torso.  
"It was nice while it lasted," whispers the narcos.  
"I've never met anyone like you" Javier confesses and then laughs. "I remembered something".  
"What?".  
"How it all started" Javier tells him briefly about Mrs. Mariza and her herbal tea.  
"So we were both victims of a voodoo spell?".  
Javier shrugs "I think 'voodoo magic' only put us on the right track, we did the rest ourselves".  
"We will have to thank Ms. Mariza".  
“She told me that the path I would find could be difficult and she asked me questions first. He asked me if I thought narcos could be good people beyond what they did".  
"And what have you answered?".  
"That humanity is screwed and that it is naive to divide the world into black and white".  
Javier brings his face closer to Pacho's, feeling the warm breath of the other on the cheeks. "When I realized it was you, the man I couldn't get out of my head, I understood why he asked me for those things".  
They kiss deeply on the lips and, for the second time, Pacho watches him go.

I'm at the airport bar having for last beer together, Steve is angry with his superiors over the transfer of his colleague and friendm, right now that they were so close to taking Escobar.  
"Have you ever slept with a boy?" Javier suddenly asks.  
The alcoholic drink is spit out of Steve's mouth.  
"What?!".  
"You heard right...".  
Steve turns red in the face with the shame of the topic "No" replies "I haven't thought about it".  
The blond bites his lip "Ok... I don't care about males, but as a boy I was curious".  
"Have you fulfilled your curiosity?".  
“No, I've always looked at girls and after Connie I only thought of her. I was just curious if the sex was the same".  
Javier nods with a shrug "Sorry Steve, simple curiosity".  
"I think you're having fun".  
"Maybe a little bit".  
"I'll miss you".  
"You too".  
Steve takes another sip of his beer. "What about your secret relationship with the girl who made you feel so good? You saw her last night, didn't you?”.  
"Yes, but no, it's not a girl," Javier smiles, enjoying Steve's neutral face becomes amazed.  
"You mean that...".  
"I'm bisexual Steve, I've always been, it's not a discovery I made recently".  
The blonde raises his defensive hands “I honestly don't care if you go to bed with men and women. Ansi, if we were all bisexual, we will probably be happier".  
"Maybe everyone thought like you".  
"Anyway, what did the boy say?".  
"It wouldn't have worked between us, we see from different worlds and we think it in different ways".  
“How different can it be? Who is it? One of your informants?".  
"No, but it would be easier" Javier sighs, running his hands over his face.  
“God, man, it looks like a march to the gallows. Who the hell is he? Don Bern?".  
"Oh God!" Javier grimaces making Steve laugh "It could be my father!".  
"Ok, sorry" Steve tries to stop laughing "Is he someone I know?".  
"Someone you've met in person and isn't a cop".  
"Is he an Escobar man?".  
"God, no...".  
"To do with drug trafficking?".  
"Yes...".  
Steve taps his fingers on of the thoughtful beer bottle.  
"One of the Los Pepes?".  
"I'd rather cut my balls with a shears".  
Steve snorts a laugh and is about to ask another question, but Javier anticipates it. "Daiquiri passion fruit".  
The blonde frowns looking in his memories and then his eyes widen in pure shock.  
"Javi! Fuck! " he exclaims with a quivering lip "Fuck, Javier!".  
Javier sighs "I know...".  
"Have you ever talked about..." Steve asks furiously, but the other anticipates him.  
"No" replies honestly Javier "We never exchanged information about our activities. I met him by chance in a nightclub the day I accompanied Paola to her grandmother, I had no idea that Hélmer was that Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera".  
"Hélmer..." Steve teases him "You know that if someone learns about your relationship they will both fuck you and I doubt you will like it".  
“I know, but don't worry. It was just a little sex and I will never see him again".  
"How do you feel about him?" Steve asks, noting his colleague's distraught expression and a doubt creeps into his mind.  
"I don't know" replies Javier honestly. "I like talking to him, despite our contrasts".  
The blonde stares at him "You're screwed".  
The other nods "Yes, I know".  
They finish drinking their beers and then get up from the bar table. Steve has a thoughtful expression and bites his lip.  
"What is Herrera like?".  
"What do you mean?".  
"To bed. Is he as sophisticated and demanding as it seems? ".  
Javier laughs "Actually no, he's kind enough, I think I'm the wilder of the two".  
"Oh God, what have you done to him?".  
"I left a permanent scar on his right nipple on the second night of sex".  
"You branded it for life!".  
"I have to mark the territory" Javier justifies himself.  
"I'll miss you, Javi" both men embrace.  
"Be careful, Steve, Connie is waiting for you in Miami."  
"You too, be careful, I hope those assholes from the DEA will see the light" replies the blond "Just don't tell him that you have fucked one of the godparents of Cali".  
Both laugh “I can't promise it, you know I love gossiping about my sex life. Especially if he's a hot Colombian guy".  
The two friends look each other in the eyes and now Javier is serious "Take that bastard".  
"I'll call you what it's done".


	7. Come kiss your boyfriend...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dangerous words slip from Javier's mouth.

Everyone toasts Gilberto's speech and, despite the death of their rival, Pacho cannot smile. If Javier was still in Colombia, the narcos knows that they would be having sex in the hot tub in Montecasino. Maybe eating fish or cakes, who knows if Javi likes lobster...  
A large hand slams against Pacho's back, Don Berna drags him away from the others.  
"You're thinking about him, aren't you?".  
"No... yes...".  
"Do you miss him, Pachito?".  
"No... yes ...." Why the hell can't he lie to the old man?!  
“But I don't have to worry you, I let him go. Probably none of us will see him again".  
"Probably..." says Don Berna pressing a paper note to the chest of the younger man "Tomorrow he returns to Laredo" he adds enigmatically to then join the other narcos.  
Pacho frowns at a phone number. Without attracting attention, he moves away from the other men to take his satellite phone and admire the jungle panorama from the villa's panoramic terrace, while dialing the number.  
To answer is the reception of a hotel "How can I help you?".  
"Good evening, I'm looking a your host, Javier Peña".  
"Just a moment, sir".  
Pacho wonders what Berna wants from him, did he hope to do him a favor?  
"I connect her to her room" the voice of the reception reaches him.  
"Thank you".  
The phone rings a few times, "Hello?" Javier's sleepy voice answers.  
Pacho feels a wave of relief in his chest and smiles mischievously.  
"Good evening, Agent Peña, I wanted to report a gathering of the major leaders of various Colombian cartels and guerrillas".  
There is a short silence across the line.  
"Helmer?" Javier asks incredulously.  
"In person".  
"How did you know I was here?".  
"A birdie informed me".  
"Where are you?".  
"At a party, we just made a toast to the death of our number one rival."  
"Are you drinking champagne?".  
“I am holding a glass in my hand in a secluded place, I wanted to hear your voice. How did it go to court?".  
Javier sighs "Better than I thought, they gave me a promotion".  
"Is fantastic".  
"Yes, but I go home for a while to clear my mind, I don't know whether to accept".  
"It could be a great thing for your career".  
"Even if that means hunt you?".  
The glass in Pacho's hand slips from his fingers for a moment, but he manages to place it on the marble railing without breaking it. The narcos bites his reflective lip on the new information, his cold mind already working out loopholes or deceptions for him and his associates, but his heart unleashes a fierce debate worried about the health of the DEA agent and the risk he could run because of Pacho's selfishness.  
"I've had bad dreams since the last time we met" Javier changes the subject.  
"What kind of dreams?".  
"Of those that wake up sweating and screaming" the DEA agent sighs "I dream of a man walking with a bloody machete in his hand and at his feet there are rows and rows of severed heads. The man's face is not always the same: sometimes it is Escobar or one of his men, other times it is Carrillo or Steve. This man looks me in the eye and lifts one of the heads with still warm blood dripping from the severed neck".  
Pacho tightened his grip on the railing imagining the end of the story.  
"It's your head Hélmer, he says to me with a malicious smile 'Come kiss your boyfriend'".  
Pacho takes a deep breath passing his free hand over his eyes "I'm sorry Javi".  
"I miss waking up next to you" confesses the DEA agent.  
"I miss our breakfasts together" replies the other honest.  
"God, I depressed you" Javier apologizes.  
"You are human too, Javi".  
"Unlike you? The relentless Pacho Herrera, your poker face is a legend from North to South America".  
"My wall only falters when it comes to you" the narcos bites his lip, why does he show himself so vulnerable to a DEA agent?!  
"Anyway" quickly changes the subject "I can cheer you up by telling you where we could be, if you were still here in Colombia".  
"To eat cakes and drink Daiquiri or champagne in a tub full of hot water".  
"Am I so predictable?".  
“Quite the opposite, you are the most unpredictable man I have ever known, I just guessed. Thanks for calling me, Hélmer” he pauses briefly and Pacho is safe to hear the tongue of the dark-haired man moisten his lips “I love you”.  
Words are like a dagger to the heart and, at the same time, an adrenaline rush to the spine.  
"I love you too" the words escape from his lips like water in a river and the narcos puts his hand to his mouth.  
Javier takes a deep breath "Goodbye, Hélmer".  
The call ends and Pacho leans on the railing completely emptied and, at the same time, euphoric. A fierce conflict within him is consuming him.  
There is a rustling behind him and Pacho is surprised to find Manuel staring at him between disappointment and resignation.  
"Manuel...".  
“I knew it would never be more than sex between you and me. I knew you would fall in love with someone in the end" he speaks in a gentle but wounded voice.  
Pacho takes two steps towards him, but Manuel stops him with a gesture of the hand “Okay so, Pacho, for you sex has always been an outlet. And I know I'm not the only man you've brought to bed since we met, but something has changed in you for a while now and I've finally figured out what".  
Manuel takes a deep breath "I will always be grateful to you for everything you have done for me".  
Manuel gives him a faint smile and then leaves Pacho to his thoughts.

He had missed his home, his father's ranch and his old friends. Her cousin's wedding was also an excellent distraction. He is happy to see Loren again, there had always been something special between them that came back on every time he saw her, despite their separation years ago. Except this time, this time there is someone else in his mind and his nightmares have not changed, fortunately he hasn't done it every night since he came home, but I'm always there waiting for him.  
"It was from our separation that I didn't see that expression".  
Loren joined him outside, Javier had gone out to smoke a cigarette.  
"What expression?".  
"That of a man in pain of love, but in addition I see that you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders".  
Javier snorts a laugh "I'm glad you turned the page".  
"I'd like to say 'you too', but that's not true, is it?".  
"It's complicated".  
"Everything with you is complicated, Javi, you've always been looking for something and I knew he wasn't me who could give it to you".  
Javier sighs and Pacho's thought still brushes his mind. He confessed his feelings to him, he realized those feelings when that damned sentence came out of his mouth. What future could they have? What the fuck have his brain?! What the fuck have his body?! Just a fucking sexual attraction! Love... there is no room for love! It is a fucking obstacle in this world for the duty. Javier will never stop, neither for Pacho nor for his father. The more he ask these questions, the more he repeat these statements and the more the conflict becomes ardent within him giving him a strong migraine. And his conscience gives him a liar and an idiot.  
"If you had to choose between the man you love and do the right thing, what would you do?".  
Loren is surprised by the question and frowns reflecting "I would look for a compromise".  
Javier snorts a laugh “There is no compromise. The choice is between right and wrong".  
“Nothing is black or white, Javi, there are always other solutions. You have to think outside the scheme".  
Loren pats him on the shoulder and gives him a slight smile "I was pleased to see you again, I hope he is a good person who has your heart".  
Javier watches Loren return to the hall, then leans against the wooden railing of the porch staring at the horizon. Staring in the direction of Colombia.  
The confession of love that he and Pacho exchanged echo in his ears and, in the end, he makes a decision.


	8. Pacho's hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only night Pacho doesn't think about Javier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> thank you very much for the kudos and the comments, they make me very happy.  
> I wanted to tell you again that I changed the past of our protagonists, we will see Pacho's past not conforming to the original story.  
> In this chapter there will be a first part and the second part will be in the next, since this chapter is short the sequel I will try to publish it earlier than usual.  
> Enjoy the reading.

The only evening he doesn't think about Javier is when Pacho's eyes are fixed on Claudio Salazar, the seething hate in his veins that collides with Gilberto's will.  
For years he saw that day in his head and in his nightmares, for years he had to swallow the toad in order not to kill him. This is why they call him 'Pacho', it was Chepe who started calling him that way because of his calm and controlled character, but that calm is put to the test when it comes to Claudio Salazar. The only thing that has always stopped Pacho of the revenge is Gilberto and business.  
When Miguel expressed his thoughts about dealing with Salazar, satisfaction flooded Pacho's body and did not hesitate to deal with it in person.  
Manuel is close to him all the time, he too has always hated Claudio Salazar for his arrogant and rude ways, but he is unaware of the past between the two narcos.  
When they arrive with the motobikes at the bar and Pacho approaches Salazar with the bottle of liquor in his hand, he relives the day when he became a member of the Cartel of Cali.

When Pacho went to Cali he had to start all over again, since he first worked for the Cartel of Norte de Valle, but he had to leave after an unpleasant meeting with Claudio Salazar. In Cali Pacho he was anything but lazy and stupid and after a few years Chepe Santacruz was attracted to his work, with the arrival of cocaine the orders became more massive and complicated, but Pacho knew how to move and did such a good job that Gilberto and Miguel wanted to meet him. The two Rodríguez began to rely more and more on Pacho entrusting him with the most important tasks and he helped them and create their empire.  
Things were going well, until Gilberto wanted to make an agreement with the cartel of Norte de Valle.  
During all the time in Cali, Pacho had hidden his sexuality with his new bosses, every time it discovered his inclinations something painful happened.  
When the two cartels met, Pacho stood aside, but Claudio Salazar had seen and recognized him immediately, there was confusion in his eyes. Perhaps he did not understand how Pacho could be alive after their last meeting or, perhaps, he did not understand how someone like him had reached these summits.  
At least Salazar had the decency to wait for the end of the meeting and lingered to leave the room for last.  
"Mister Rodríguez" he said respectfully.  
"Signor Salazar" looks at him curiously Gilberto.  
"Can I ask you something?".  
"Of course".  
"What makes an abomination in your highest ranks".  
Miguel and Chepe stare at Claudio snapped, while Gilberto is mostly confused.  
Pacho must lean against the wall, he felt out of breath, as if they had punched him in the stomach.  
"You don't know what the man who works for you is, Mr. Rodríguez?".  
Pacho looks at the ground, all eyes are on him.  
"What do you mean, Salazar?" Miguel asks.  
"That man has unnatural and abominable inclinations" smiles Claudio "He is attracted and touches people of the same sex, as a woman should touch, he is truly disgusting".  
There is a long silence and Pacho would like to sink into the ground.  
"So?" Chepe's voice reaches everyone's ears "I don't give a damn about who fucks our Pachito, he has done a great job so far".  
Pacho looks surprised at Chepe.  
“I have to agree with my partner, Mr. Salazar. What Mister Herrera does in his private life is his business" Gilberto smiles, not at all disturbed by their discovery.  
"But Mr. Rodríguez" protests Salazar "That man is...".  
"It's a great resource for our company" says Miguel "If it weren't for him, we would never have reached this point".  
Gilberto pats Salazar on the shoulder “I know he worked for your cartel and I know that the idea of exploiting the port of Buenaventura for your transport was our Pachito's. You have been stupid to have missed this pearl, but I will not make the same mistake".  
"Moreover" Miguel intervenes, "Since we're all there, we can make another announcement".  
"We want Pachito to become our equal partner" says Chepe enjoying the incredulous reaction on Salazar's face and fighting the urge to hit the face of that asshole who tried to humiliate his 'little brother'.  
Pacho glances between all three of his bosses, while his brain goes haywire for the surreal situation.  
"Now, Mr. Salazar, if you want to excuse us, we have other topics to discuss".  
Claudio Salazar swallows the words he wants to spit on the boss of Cali, finally grits his teeth and leaves.  
Pacho clenches his fists as Gilberto approaches him, the younger man knows that he will withdraw the ad from before and chase it away. There is no place for someone like him in the world... his father was right...  
Cali boss raises his face to meet his eyes and gives him a reassuring smile. "Don't be ashamed of who you are, Pachito" he says "But change the world so that you are well. Now to the means of doing it, son. You have the means to be yourself".

Pacho breathes lunge and smiles placing the bottle in front of Salazar. He apologizes to him for go to dance with Manuel. To mock Claudio, with what he has always condemned, he kisses his partner passionately.  
Manuel has always been a good kisser, but a part of Pacho wants Javier's lips and his reassuring embrace. The fires of revenge burn the tenderness of these thoughts.  
A satisfaction, desired for too long, invests him when he slams the glass bottle on the head of that asshole. His screams and entreaties are poetry for Pacho's ears, while the image of every kick and punch that he has given him overlaps.  
Think of the other's flabby penis and Pacho wonders how his wife could still be with him. The silence in the mind of the narcos falls, as Salazar's screams cease when the flesh and bones are torn.


	9. Dorothy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our guys meet and Pacho opens up with Javier telling him his ugliest memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> as promised the new chapter in advance.  
> I wanted to warn you of the warning of homophobia in this chapter and I can only say: 'Sorry Pachito...'.  
> Please don't hate me, I wanted to find a valid reason for Pacho's hatred of the Salazar family.  
> Enjoy the reading.

Javier has arrived in his office in Bogota. They are all so delighted to meet him and make him feel fucking uncomfortable! It was not he who took Escobar, but many people and even more people died in that long search.  
Javier order immediately to have the files of the last interceptions brought and, while his driver/assistant arranges the first files on the desk, the phone rings.  
Javier picks up the phone, "Agent Peña".  
"I know very well" the familiar voice makes his blood freeze "I know you are back in Colombia".  
"How did you get this number?" the DEA agent naively asks, too surprised by Pacho's voice to remember that he is not alone in the room.  
His assistant looks at him with a frown, while the narcos replies “Really, Javi? Do I really have to answer this naive question?”.  
Javier gives a sunny smile “Dorothy! How nice to feel, how are uncle and dad? What about your New Yorker big brother?”.  
His assistant raises an eyebrow, while Pacho snorts indignantly.  
"Is Dorothy" Javier says to the younger man, pointing to the phone. "My cleaning lady is the same as Medellín".  
His assistant shrugs and leaves the room.  
"So Dorothy, how are you?" Javier asks closing the door of his office, but without closing the curtains in order not to look suspicious.  
"I'm pretty good. Definitely satisfied and I'm really happy to hear your voice".  
"How sweet we are" Javier looks out the window observing the view.  
"I missed you and then we have to celebrate your promotion".  
"Do we celebrate the fact that I will hunt you down?".  
"Someone told me that the world is not just black and white".  
Javier smiles "You know we can't show up together, it would be better not to meet again".  
"I'm not saying go to the trendiest restaurant in town announced by the trumpet blast and the drumroll".  
"And, Dorothy, what did you think?".  
"Dorothy has to leave tomorrow for business, so tonight she will spend the night in Bogota and thought she would bring you dinner and baptize your new apartment".  
Javier sighs deeply "Dorothy, don't you think it's dangerous?".  
"Every moment of life is dangerous, you could be hit by a car or have a heart malformation without knowing it, and then suddenly die of a heart attack".  
"You know what I'm referring to".  
"I want to see you..." Pacho whispers in a sincere voice.  
How could Javier say no to him? Because answering that he hadn't thought of he and wanted it since their last meeting would have been a lie.

When Javier opens the door of his apartment, Pacho attacks him, taking his lips between his teeth and dragging him inside with bags full of food taken from an excellent restaurant.  
Pacho pushes him against the kitchen wall. "Let me congratulate you on this promotion" she seductively says, kneeling and unfastening the belt to the agent of the DEA.

They go from the kitchen to the bathtub that Javier had already prepared before Pacho arrived. They soak for at least two hours between talking about various things and having sex.  
Then they wear on a bathrobe and eat the dinner brought by the narcos.  
All that time together Javier has noticed that Pacho, in some moments, has a distant and gloomy expression.  
"Hey" Javier gives him a light kick from under the table "What's up?".  
Pacho shrugs "It's nothing..." he says with little conviction.  
Javier looks at him seriously “Hélmer, you're usually a brick wall, the most illegible man I've ever known. Now you seem troubled, so I think whatever happened is something serious".  
Pacho puts his fork on the dining table and runs his hands over his face, a heavy silence extends between the two men.  
Javier thinks he won't answer.  
"I killed a man" Pacho looks him in the eye.  
The DEA agent sighs "For business?".  
"Not only..." the narcos clenches his fists "Business was involved, but it was above all personal".  
"Who was?".  
"A member of the cartel of Norte de Valle, Claudio Salazar".  
"Fuck..." comments Javier.  
Pacho's eyes are absent, nobody knows what Salazar did to him, not even his brother.  
"You don't look like someone who snaps for a simple insult, you haven't said anything about the Daiquiri that I spilled on your face".  
Pacho slams his fist on the table, his grip getting tighter and tighter as he feels his nails digging in his palms, his gaze lost in the past.  
"He humiliated me... he has me...".  
Only when Javier's fingers grasp his hands does his grip loosen and he starts breathing again.  
"Did you kill him because he hurt you?".  
Pacho grabs the fingers of the DEA agent berating himself for showing himself so fragile. To desire comfort from this man who has done nothing but break down his masks and his wall of indifference.  
"What did he do to you? I won't judge you Hélmer, but I think it's good for you to open up".  
Pacho nods "Nobody knows...", hearing his name coming out of Javier's lips makes him feel better. It pushes him to trust him.  
"I told you that at 16 my father threw me out of the house".  
Javier nods in silence.  
“The easiest way to make money is through illegal activities and my only goal was to take my brother away from that house. So I went to Buenaventura to work for the cartel of Norte de Valle, I started as a simple courier and then I proposed my ideas on transport to one of the leaders and in a short time I became responsible for the port".  
"You have always been a talented business man" comments Javier.  
Pacho gives a small smile in agreement.  
"Yes, and in doing so I attracted the attention of the major exponents of the cartel of Norte de Valle, including Claudio Salazar".  
"I guess he didn't like you".  
“He hated me, he was envious. I was a his peers who came from nowhere and who had already impressed their families. For a long time he waited for my false move".  
Pacho runs his tongue over dry lips “For those years I tried to repress my instincts towards other men, but I was weak and young. So Salazar and his brothers found me making out with a boy in a secluded area of the port".  
"He was just waiting for an excuse to attack you" Javier takes Pacho's hand, but he dodges, unable to look the DEA agent in the eye.  
"He beat me while his brothers kept me still" he speaks in a slightly trembling voice "He told me the most despicable things and I relived the moment when my father kicked me out of the house, but that wasn't the worst part".  
Pacho bites his lip.  
"Hélmer..." Javier calls him "If you don't want...".  
"No!" the narcos replies determinedly "Now we have reached this point".  
Pacho takes a deep breath. “I was bleeding and on my knees at his feet, he unbuckled his pants and discovered his cock. He looked at me with contempt saying 'You're good at taking it and giving it, let's see if even suck it'".  
Javier contracts his mouth in disgust, but does not want to interrupt Pacho, he was now taking over everything.  
“His brothers opened my mouth forcefully and he stuffed that little cock into it. I have never felt so much hatred towards someone and myself, at that time I hated myself for being attracted to other men, I found myself disgusting and abominable, I pushed myself to believe that the words of my father and Salazar were true... that I was nothing in this world... ".  
Pacho breathes deeply and a lonely tear escapes his right eye, but his voice remains steady.  
"But I didn't let him do it" continues the narcos "After a few seconds that that little worm was in my mouth I used my teeth, hearing him scream gave me a little satisfaction. Eventually they finished beating me and I passed out. I woke up away from the port on a beach, perhaps they hoped that the water would take away my body or that I had died from some internal bleeding. Anyway, as soon as I was able to walk I went to Cal”.  
Pacho takes a deep breath, feels humiliated for having told Javier this story, but also relieved to have pulled this bad memory out of his head.  
The DEA agent leaves his place to kneel in front of him, caresses his thighs and then gives him small kisses from the navel to the lips.  
"I won't judge you as an DEA agent for killing him," says Javier honestly "But I can tell you that if Claudio Salazar were still alive, I would have killed him with my own hands".  
Pacho gives a slight smile by taking the other's face in his hands.  
"You are the first person in the world to whom I tell this story".  
"Thanks for telling me, Mr. Herrera".

They finish dinner and then find themselves naked in bed looking at each other.  
Javier caresses Pacho's face by teasing his light beard "Where would you like to be in this moment?".  
"Nowhere except here".  
"Helmer...".  
"Yes, Javier?"  
"I think I Love You".  
Pacho sighs taking Javier's hand in his "That word is very dangerous, Agent Peña".  
"Yes, it's the stupidest thing I ever said to a drug dealer".  
"I love you, it's the stupidest word I ever said to a DEA agent".  
They both smile.  
“What do we do Hélmer? You and I have our principles and ethics. We both know that neither will go over to the other, neither will betray their 'family'".  
Pacho sighs and puts his lips on Javier's. “We have the unspoken pact that neither will use the other for their own purposes. Everyone will use their means to protect their 'family'".  
"So you're telling me to enjoy this moment?".  
"What choice do we have?".  
"We don't want to have any".  
They kiss again and Pacho buries his face on Javier's chest.  
"If we could stay like this forever, we will have no worries".

Alvaro had just taken the road, his brother told him to come and get him at the bottom of this street, he had told him that he found someone to spend the night with. Alvaro does not care about his brother's escapades, but finds it strange that Manuel is not following Pacho.  
Young Herrera sees his brother from the rear view mirror coming out of one of the houses. Alvaro is about to come over and honk his horn to get his brother's attention, but someone runs to Pacho and the eyes of younger brother widen observing the man's face.  
That was one of the DEA agents investigating the Cali cartel. Alvaro is about to grab the gun from the glove compartment, but what he sees makes him freeze.  
The agent hands over Pacho's favorite watch, as if he has forgotten it. It was only then that the Herrera minor realized that the DEA agent had left the same house as his brother. His suspicions are confirmed when the two men exchange a quick kiss on the lips.  
Alvaro parks at the end of the street processing what he has seen, while a thousand questions cross his mind.  
When Pacho gets into the car the younger man gets scared.  
"Hey, are you all right?" asks his brother kindly.  
"Yes" Alvaro smiles trying to hide his nervousness "All right".  
The younger man realizes that his brother is relaxed and does not stop smiling.  
"Did you have a nice evening?".  
"Yes" Pacho's smile is brighter "You?".  
"Nothing special...".  
Alvaro bites his lip and then decides to postpone the speech on the DEA agent to another occasion, he doesn't want to spoil his brother's mood.


	10. Save your man, Javi!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troubles reaches Pacho in Mexico...

Amado hadn't changed in those years, his offer was tempting, but Pacho knows what will answer him in the end. Gilberto, Miguel and Chepe are his family and have a plan, an agreement with the Colombian government to serve their sentence in Bogotá and get out of it clean.  
Maybe he could go to Javier when it's all over, go to Laredo or wherever he will find the DEA agent, buy a nightclub or open a bar. Something legal... no more drug dealing, no more cocaine... could they marry one day? A day when gay marriages will be legal...  
And the fourth glass of tequila that swallows his brother to wake Pacho from his thoughts.  
"Isn't it early for all that tequila?".  
"I'm upset" Alvaro justifies himself, alcohol loosens his tongue.  
"For the fact that I leave the business?".  
"No" grins Alvaro "For the fact that you fuck a DEA agent".  
Pacho's surprised expression gives his brother every confirmation and it was rare to see Hélmer 'Pacho' Herrera with that look.  
"Fuck, Helm!" his brother reproaches him "you are a fucking spy?".  
Pacho rises to his feet with a snap plugging his brother's mouth and looking at him with a relentless face "Don't you ever dare to say such a thing".  
Alvaro snorts, shaking his brother's hand from his face "What relationship is there between you and that?!".  
Pacho sighs "Nothing you think. He is not an informer or the other way around, if he were, things would be much simpler".  
The younger man tries to calm down and looks his brother in the eye, despite Pacho's mask, Alvaro has always managed to understand him.  
“Tell me that's not true. Tell me that tequila is making me imagine my intuitions about the affections you have for that man".  
Pacho takes his brother's shoulder and invites him to sit down.  
"Maybe you should make a glass of tequila for me too" he says with his mind elsewhere to recall the first time he saw Javi at the counter of that nightclub "It all started in Medellín".

Alvaro sighs passing his hands over his eyes "Fuck...".  
"Yeah..." Pacho nods.  
"Don Berna has a nephew who is an agent of the DEA and your fiancé knows nothing about it" snorts Alvaro with a laugh.  
The narcos rolls his eyes.  
"Brother, you're screwed!".  
"Tell me something I Do not Know...".  
Pacho grabs his brother's arm and looks at him seriously "Nobody must know" speaks in a firm and authoritarian voice "Neither Chepe, nor Gilberto, nor Miguel and, absolutely, neither Amado".  
Alvaro nods "Quiet brother, I'm not an idiot".  
"I know, but you are impulsive....".  
"Now I can tell you: listen who's talking!".  
They both smile trying to forget the anxiety and concerns about the secret relationship between a drug dealer and a DEA agent.

The young waiter undresses and stares Pacho, licking his lips.  
The narcos bites his tongue and gets up "You are wonderful..." he says sincerely and then passes on his clothes "But I'm not interested".  
The boy's mouth opens in amazement "Mr. Herrera, did I do something wrong?".  
"No" he replies honestly "You have been polite and kind, but I have to decline your offer for private reasons. Tell Mr. Carrillo that his gift is truly appreciated and this increases my esteem for him".  
The boy is about to say something, but then he closes his mouth and nods.  
Pacho watches him go and his thoughts run elsewhere, he wonders where Javier is and what he's doing.

Javier is at the airport escorting Franklin Jurado, they are waiting for the flight that will take them to Miami, so he takes advantage of it to contact his office in Bogota.  
"Did you find Christina Jurado?".  
"I'm going to her house, sir".  
"What's new about the Norte de Valle cartel?", Javier made them keep an eye on the wiretaps, partly for the consequences on Pacho after the assassination of Claudio Salazar and partly to see what they would have done against the godparents of Cali after the capture of Gilberto Rodríguez.  
"It looks like they're moving".  
"What?".  
"They are planning an execution in Juárez, a big piece of the Cali cartel".  
Javier remains motionless staring at the void.  
"Sir...?" his assistant calls him "Sir...?".  
It is not possible... Chepe is in New York, Miguel in Cali and Gilberto in Bogotá, so ... he had told him that he was leaving on business, he didn't tell him where. Javier's sixth sense lights up.  
"Listen" he speaks authoritatively, silencing his assistant on the other end of the phone. "I want you to make a list of the villas in Juárez bought with the money from the bank of our chiefs of Cali".  
"Sir?".  
"I'm leaving for Juárez, I'll call you back when I arrive" concludes the call by entrusting Franklin Jurado to his men and then rushing to get another plane ticket.

Pacho stares at the view from the balcony of the villa, feeling a little guilty for leaving that boy dry-mouthed. Elias, his name was, he felt sorry for him, but his heart and body belong to someone else. Pacho smiles as he touchs the scar around his right nipple with his fingers, Javier was really a beast in the bedroom, the narcos had had many lovers, but none as energetic as he or even wild and how much he liked to tame it...  
"Hélmer!" his brother's voice brings him back to reality and Pacho's hand immediately slips towards the gun in his belt as he hears the shots.  
It doesn't take long for Pacho to figure out who the perpetrators are, as he runs to the rescue of his brother. He goes down the stairs, manages to hit two men, while the screams get louder and his heart beats wildly.  
He finds his brother slumped behind the wall of the main corridor with a bad wound in the lower back, still holding the gun in his hands with a ferocious expression.  
Pacho decides to go around the porch to get the attackers behind him and then he would rescue his brother, he would have killed them for hurting him.  
He is about to come out, when the bullets touch his chest and he is forced to repair himself. What motherfuckers had surrounded them! Pacho is about to take the risk of leaning over and shooting when enemies shoot and scream in another direction.  
"There's another one!".  
"Shouldn't there have been only two of them!?".  
Pacho doesn't know who they're shooting at, but he takes advantage of the distraction of some of them to lean out of his hiding place and kill those he can get to.  
Suddenly silence falls, Pacho doesn't trust and glances quickly at his brother who, despite the back injury, has the same suspicious look on his face.  
Someone is running closer and Pacho points the gun at the latter, but then time slows down... he watches the figure of Javier completely puzzled as he enters the corridor where they had taken refuge, the DEA agent has a face worried and breathless, as if he had run away here, his eyes lock into Pacho's.  
The narcos gestures for his brother to lower the gun, while Javier's hands grab his shoulders and his eyes inspect every inch of the body of the man he loves.  
Are you Ok?".  
"I do" replies Pacho, loosening his grip to go to Alvaro. He's really happy to see Javier, but the important thing was not to make his brother bleed to death and go to a safe place, then kiss his favorite DEA agent.  
Alvaro looks incredulously at Javier, but the back injury hurts him too much to criticize or comment. The dark-haired man controls him carefully, the expression on his face does not announce anything good.  
"He needs immediate medical attention" says the DEA agent, taking off his jacket and using it to bandage the wound. "How many shots do you have in the gun, Hélmer?".  
"Almost everyone" replies Pacho, as he watches Javier take his brother in his arms very gently.  
"Let's go to the gate to get my car, you lead the way and watch out for the corners, there may be others".  
Pacho nods and doesn't argue with Javier approving his plan, he goes on with the gun in his hand.  
"Don't pass out boy" the DEA agent incites Alvaro.  
"Fuck...".  
"This is the right spirit, what's your name?".  
"I'm Alvaro, the brother of the man you fuck".  
Javier stops biting his lip, but the younger man shrugs his shoulders.  
"I saw you a couple of days ago kissing on the street, when you gave him back his watch".  
Javier nods, continuing towards the gate of the villa, luckily there is no one in sight. They load Alvaro on the back of the car, it is becoming increasingly pale, while the two men occupy the front seats of the car. Pacho gives him directions to a private airstrip and uses his satellite phone to get a plane and a doctor ready to help his brother.  
"Why are you here?" asks Pacho as soon as he ended the call.  
“I kept an eye on the activities of the Norte de Valle cartel after you killed Salazar and we arrested Gilberto. They told me about an attack on Juárez on a big piece of the Cali cartel and I guessed it".  
The two Herrera look at him completely surprised with an unspoken exclamation on their faces: 'You are crazy'.  
“Did you come this far? Alone?" Pacho shakes his head.  
"I didn't know how to contact you and I was already at the airport for other reasons...".  
"You are the most stupid and courageous man I have ever known..." comments Alvaro trying not to pass out "You, agent Peña, are involved with narcos more than you think and you don't even know".  
"Alvaro!" Pacho warns him.  
"Isn't it fair that he know?" the younger man speaks blinking so as not to pass out.  
"Know what?" asks the DEA agent.  
"No Javi, my brother is delusional" justifies Pacho.  
"No, no, no..." Alvaro protests "I have to talk to stay awake, so I'll talk...".  
"Don't listen to him Javi, he's clearly in shock".  
"Don't you think 'Javi' should know?" continues the younger man “After all, he saved our ass. Don't you think he deserves a reward, apart from your cock?".  
"Alvaro!" Pacho warns him again.  
"And his family!".  
The narcos knows that his brother has gone too far. Javier's eyes are fixed on the road, but as it narrow and the hands close on the wheel, Pacho realizes that Alvaro has all his interest.  
"What are you talking about? What does my family have to do with it?".  
The narcos rubs his eyes praying that Don Berna won't kill him.  
"Your blood!" Alvaro says as if it were an obvious thing "You are stuck with the Mexicans too, I wonder if you are not related to Félix Gallardo in person...".  
"What the fuck is Hélmer talking about?!" Javier raises his voice and Pacho sighs.  
“I didn't hide anything from us in Alvaro when he said he saw us kiss, so I told him everything. I told him about when Don Berna and I met for a private speech, the day before you returned to America from Medellín" says Pacho with a downcast look" He told me that if I used or hurt you he would kill me ".  
Javier frowns "Did he know about us?!".  
"Yes, I think Nevegante told him because he owed him a favor and respects him".  
"What?".  
"Caterina Murillo, this is the name that connects everything".  
The car stops abruptly at the stop and Javier stares at Pacho completely upset.  
"What does my mother have to do with it?".  
"Don Berna... what is his real name?" asks Pacho cautiously.  
Javier's mouth contracts and then starts the car again, the DEA agent remains silent contemplating this new information. His brain made the connection long ago, but it hadn't given him any weight... Berna's reaction to his mother's name and his father's origin, his face upset when he told him that she had died years ago...  
Javier breathes lunge "Who is he to my mother?".  
"I think you should ask him..." replies Pacho, Alvaro listens carefully to the whole conversation trying to remain conscious.  
A wave of anger pours into Javier's chest and clenching his fists hits the steering wheel several times swearing.  
Pacho places his hand on his right wrist, stroking his skin with his thumb.  
"Would you have told me?!" Javier asks angrily and snapped "Would you have told me in the end?!".  
"No..." replies sincerely Pacho "Actually I don't know... Don Berna told me to keep my mouth shut and, given your work, I thought it was better not to get into trouble by pointing out that you were involved more than you think".  
"Fuck, Hélmer!" Javier growls “I'm already involved! Look where I am! I could have been in Cali trying to catch Miguel Rodríguez, instead I'm here to save your ass!”.  
Pacho opens his mouth and then closes it again without saying anything, because he doesn't know what to say...  
They reach the small airport in a tense silence, there is already a small plane waiting for them. Pacho gets out first giving instructions to the men near the plane, while Javier pulls Alvaro out of the back of the car.  
"Hey, DEA..." the younger man calls him, shrugging his shoulders "It's not your family, your parents, who do what you are, but your choices".  
Javier does not reply and goes to meet Pacho and some men carrying a stretcher.  
"Anyway, thank you, DEA" Alvaro says sincerely to then be placed on the stretcher and taken away.  
"Come on" Pacho gestures to the plane.  
"I can't go with you, Hélmer" he says honestly "I've already disappeared into thin air, if I return to Cali there will be too many questions".  
Pacho sighs "And there are them..." he nods towards the men in the small airport.  
Javier nods "Things get complicated from here...".  
"We both know this story" the narcos grabs his hand "It can't have a happy ending".  
"Why can't we stop?".  
"Cocaine is addictive and does stupid things, we are the drugs of each other...".  
Javier shakes his hand and they both exchange a deep kiss. The DEA agent is the first to leave, but Pacho chases his lips for more kisses and to hold him close. If Javier had not arrived, perhaps the two Herrera would have died.  
"You are crazy for have come here...".  
"Come with me" Javier says, returning the hug. "I'll get you a new identity, so Norde de Valle won't be able to look for you anymore. We will go to America for a new life, if you accept a pact with the DE...".  
Pacho walks away shaking his head "Gilberto, Miguel and Chepe are my family and they need me".  
Javier twists his mouth and nods "This will get us killed each other, you know? Always if some of your men don't cheat on you or one of the Salazar doesn't kill you".  
Pacho nods "I know... we both know why I don't offer to go with me, I don't offer to be by my side. Because I know you would say no".  
Pacho says nothing more and Javier watches him get on the plane.


	11. Tío

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier confronts Don Berna and Pacho asks Chepe for advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important attention  
> Hi guys, thanks a lot for the support I'm getting for this story, we are almost at the end of this adventure.  
> I take a minute of your time to ask if you would like it if I write a one shot or a short AU-style story with Javier as narcos, including the events taking place in 'narcos: mexico'.  
> If you are interested with whom would you like to see our Javier related? The choice is between Felix and Amado.  
> Thanks for your time and happy reading.

It was difficult to try to explain why Javier had escaped to Juárez, in the end he justified himself by capturing the survivors of the execution and confirming that Pacho Herrera was there in that villa. As soon as Pacho and Alvaro left by plane, Javier called the local police telling him of a possible shooting between two placards and  
organized a raid to cover his lies. Nobody noticed anything since when he returned to the villa with all the Mexican police, the corpses of Norte de Valle confirmed everything about the lies told by Javier and testifying that the target of the criminals had escaped who knows where.  
After that act they advised the DEA agent that they had a mole in the Cali cartel and that Christina Jurado was taken to the jungle.

Javier stares at Miguel Rodríguez's book. He's in his office staring at those fucking numbers when the phone rings.  
"Peña".  
"I'm Dorothy" replies Pacho irritated by the nickname.  
His tone makes the DEA agent smile.  
"It's always nice to hear you Dorothy".  
"You are incorrigible... but I guess I have to indulge you since Miguel is still free".  
"Yes, I'm pretty pissed. How is your brother?".  
"On a wheelchair".  
Javier's eyes widened open "I'm sorry... I...".  
“Don't apologize, it actually went better than expected. It will be a long rehabilitation, but there is a good chance that he will walk again".  
"I'm happy to hear it," the DEA agent tells him sincerely.  
"Javi... if it weren't for you, things could have ended much worse...".  
"I followed the instinct".  
“You have done much more, I owe you your life and Alvaro too. I don't know how to repay you... ".  
"There's no need, Dorothy, it's enough for me to know you're okay".  
"How sweet we are, Agent Peña".  
Javier opens his lips, is about to say something when there is a knock on his office door.  
"Dorothy...".  
"You have to go?".  
"Yes".  
There is a short silence, where neither of them wants to hang up the phone.  
"I will meet Don Berna for business matters" the words come out of Javier's mouth.  
Pacho sighs "What are you going to do?".  
"I don't know... I'll know when I see it...".  
They knock again on the door more insistently.  
"I have to go, be careful too Dorothy".  
Pacho nods "Don't break the old man's face".  
"I can not promise you anything".  
"And... Javi? He was behind that wall... ".  
"Asshole...".

Javier spends most of the journey between Medellín and Bogotá cursing against fate. Don Bern is his card to find Christina Jurado and he wanted to avoid it.  
Ever since Alvaro and Pacho told him about his possible connection with the narcos, Javier hasn't known whether to face it or, as Don Berna, act as if nothing has happened.  
Javier starts to get tired, this hunt and his feelings for Pacho are draining him, he hates to admit that his father was right... if you venture into this world, it changes you and if Javier ever returns home, Chucho Peña will have a some things to explain to him.  
He wonders how Alvaro is doing, he was relieved of Pacho's call and hopes the narcos won't do anything stupid to avenge his brother.  
Meet Don Berna at the usual restaurant and agree to meet the Castaño. The argument about his mother never falls between them, the DEA agent doesn't want to mix personal affairs with work, at least not now... not as long as the Los Pepes are involved, but Javier may not return from that jungle, he could never see Pacho again...  
Javier reflects on this when he reaches the airstrip, Don Berna welcomes him near the helicopter dressed in camouflage.  
"Nice look, are you coming to the raid?".  
"No thanks".  
The older man continues to speak, but Javier did not listen to him, the doubt is like a black hole in his brain.  
The moment he realizes that they are alone, something jerks inside Javier and with two quick steps he is in front of Don Berna and punches him violently in the face.  
The older man looks at him completely upset, after the blow knocked him against the metal wall of the helicopter.  
"Are you crazy?!" Don Berna exclaims, but then observes Javier with clenched fists breathe lunge and wet eyes.  
"Who was my mother to you...?" he asks in a trembling voice.  
Don Berna sighs "I was hoping we would never have had this conversation".  
"Who was?!" Javier screams completely terrified of the answer.  
"My sister...." the older man says in one breath.  
The answer is like a punch in the stomach and Alvaro's voice haunts him: 'You are involved in narcos more than you think...'.  
Javier lacks air and shakes his head trying to deny it.  
"Javi..." Don Berna tries to get closer, but he takes a step back.  
"Did Pachito tell you?" sighs the older man.  
"Not really" replies Javier honestly, he doesn't want to get Pacho into trouble.  
"I guess it doesn't matter anymore".  
Javier blinks, tidying up his emotions, sits next to Don Berna and runs his hands over his face.  
“Did your father and mother never tell you who they were before? Before their life in Laredo?”.  
"They never talked about it" sighs the DEA agent. "I never asked, perhaps because I didn't care what they were before, but what they were at that moment: mom and dad".  
"She suffered?" Don Berna asks "Did Caterina suffer when she left?".  
"It would be bullshit if I told you no" Javier replies sincerely "And it would be bullshit if I told you I was at his side. I had my plans and Dad didn't want me to remember her in her last moments with that worn-out look".  
"I never imagined to see her again after she left with Chucho, your father wanted to change his life and, apparently, he also changed his surname".  
Javier frowns "What does this mean?".  
"I think you will have a lot to talk to him when you get home...".  
"God..." the younger man rubs his eyes trying not to get a headache.  
“We have always been traffickers, Javi, first opium or marijuana, now cocaine. We mainly traded the products of a Sinaloa family in Mexico, the best marijuana on the market and in the 50/60 years the business was very fruitful" says Don Berna "It was there in Mexico that Caterina met Chucho and fell in love. But your father had a different mentality than his family and wanted to go to America, the land of opportunity, looking for an honest life. He feared that, between the illegality of our product and the wars between Mexican families, sooner or later everything would go to hell. He was afraid of being enslaved by that life, he loved his family, but he wanted to make his choices".  
Don Berna runs his hands over his eyes, wiping the small traces of blood that have fallen from his nose because of Javier's fist.  
“Caterina and I have always been united, but she was conquered by Chucho's dream and they loved herself very much. At first she was undecided whether to go with him or not, because she didn't want to leave her family, until a heavy incentive convinced her to run away with Chucho".  
"Had she been threatened?" Javi asks worriedly.  
"No..." the older man snorts a laugh and then gently squeezes the shoulder of the DEA agent "Was waiting for you".  
"She was pregnant..." says the younger man in one breath.  
"The stomach as big as a melon the last time I saw it" Don Berna leans back on the wall of the helicopter "He gave you the same name as your grandfather, Javi. You look a lot like my old man, both in character and in appearance".  
Javier shrugs "Should it be a good thing?".  
The older man nods "Your grandfather was a good man, he was not perfect, but he was a good father and good at his job".  
"I feel an arrow aimed at me and my work".  
“Put yourself in my shoes, boy, you introduce yourself a few years ago with a careless attitude and a cigarette between your lips and those fucking sunglasses. I thought I sniffers cocaine by mistake and I was having a heart attack when I saw the DEA badge holding on to you like a lover".  
The two men laugh and manage to ease the tension. Javier is now replacing denial with acceptance, unfortunately he cannot do anything for the blood that flows in his veins.  
"And history repeats itself..." Bern continues "The same thing your father did".  
Javier stares at him biting his lip, he knows what he's going to say.  
"You fell in love with a drug dealer".  
The younger man sighs heavily, rubbing his eyes.  
“I don't judge you, Javi, but you have to be careful. This thing cannot end well".  
"There is a difference between me and my father".  
"What would it be?".  
"He was not a DEA agent".  
Don Berna begins to laugh, finds in the whole situation a certain humor "You are like Romeo and Juliet!".  
"I know!" Javier pouts puffing.  
"Only you can't run away together, like Chucho and Caterina did".  
Don Berna becomes serious again by speaking honestly "I bet nobody will go over to the other".  
"Yes".  
"What are you going to do?".  
"Seeing what happens, doing our job, unfortunately there are bigger forces at play".  
Don Berna puts a hand on his shoulder "Be careful, Javi".

Chepe and Pacho are at the port of Buenaventura to fix the shooting against the cartel of Norte de Valle.  
Pacho squeezes the inside of the shirt, the photo with him and Javier is hidden in an internal pocket. If the DEA agent had not intervened, Alvaro could have been reduced worse or both could have died with the Salazar dancing on their corpses.  
And this disagreement between Gilberto and Miguel, he talked about it a little while ago with Chepe and he told him that things change, but that in the end everything will be fine. This whole situation makes Pacho feel lost and, at the time, pissed. He would have killed all the Salazar for sending his brother in a wheelchair.  
"Hey Pachito..." Chepe wraps his arm around his shoulders pulling him closer "What is that troubled face still?".  
"It's nothing".  
"How not... is it for your brother?".  
"No, Chepe, it's not that...".  
"I understand, is it a man?".  
Pacho seems to have an indifferent expression, but Chepe knows him well and sees him eyebrow lowering slightly.  
"It seems to me that Manuel is not the bull you ride now, right?".  
The younger man brings his arms to his chest, crossing them "There are more important things at the moment".  
Chepe snorts giving a kiss on the cheek to the other.  
"Our Pachito in pain of love, I never imagined seeing him, as I never imagined seeing Gilberto in prison".  
Pacho snorts a laugh, but his thoughts on Javier don't leave him alone.  
"Your wife..." doesn't know where the words come from "If you weren't a drug dealer, would your wife be with you?".  
Chepe bursts out laughing "Is your man with you because you are a drug dealer?".  
"Actually he is not with me because I am a drug trafficker" replies Pacho slightly distorting the reality of the facts, If he was not a narcos and Javier was not an agent of the DEA they would be together in the sunlight or, probably, they would never have met.  
"An honest man, huh ...?" Chepe nods in surprise "They are as rare as white crows".  
Pacho frowns.  
"Women like my wife go after money, Pachito, when you have money no matter where it comes from, leeches come out of the swamp" Chepe gives him another kiss on the cheek "My advice, little brother, is that as a drug dealer I say forget it, but as an undeniably romantic man I tell you to hold it tight".  
Pacho is completely surprised by the words of the other and bursts out laughing "I never imagined that Chepe Santacruz was so tender at the bottom".  
The older man pats him behind the neck "Only with you Pachito, only with you...".

The raid was over, Christina Jurado is safe. As soon as they arrived at the airport, the woman was taken to clean herself and then they would leave for Miami.  
Javier is smoking a cigarette near the helicopter with which they arrived and he is not surprised by Don Berna who joins him.  
"What will you do after Cali? Will they send you to hunt for me?".  
Javier shrugs "Probably in Mexico, but it all depends on how I get back from this story".  
"This world changes you, Javi, deluding yourself that you are the one changing it".  
"This world changes you, Javi, deluding yourself that you are the one changing it".  
The DEA agent snorts a laugh "It's the same thing my father said to me".  
"Chucho has never been a stupid man".  
They both stare at the runways at the airport, watch various people come forward.  
The older man laughs ironically "Son of a marijuana grower and grandson of a drug trafficker, he is a DEA agent who...".  
"He fell in love with a narcos, we all know Berna...".  
"I just thought your destiny was forged before you were born".  
"I thought that if mom hadn't gone to America, I would have become a narcos".  
"I wonder if you would have fallen in love with Pachito in that version too".  
"Or I would have died with my throat cut by one of Escobar's men".  
Don Berna turns to him smiling and spreading his arms "Javi...".  
"I don't even think about it and I won't call you Tío".  
The older man laughs and crushes the DEA agent in an embrace.  
"Good luck Javi, you really need it" he whispers.  
They release the embrace and Don Berna bites his lip.  
"What do you want to tell me?" Javier unlocks it.  
"You should leave this case behind, you're emotionally involved, if your superiors know your career is over".  
Javier sighs "Steve said the same thing too".  
“Agent Murphy? How many people know Javi?".  
"He, you, Nevegante and... shit!".  
"I know I won't like what you tell me".  
"The CIA, the CIA knows...".  
“They'll keep your balls” Don Berna sighs rubbing his eyes “How do you think it will end? How far do you think the secret services have claws stuck in this nation?”.  
Javier nods "I spent whole afternoons in Laredo thinking about all this".  
Don Berna shakes his shoulders "Be careful Javier".  
"It is difficult with the work I do".  
The older man sighs defeated "Farewell Javi, say hello to Chucho for me".  
"He owes me several explanations...".  
Don Berna is about to turn around, when the DEA agent resumes talking to her in an irritated tone "Your sister forced me to learn to play the piano".  
This makes the older man who nostalgically shakes his head laugh "Like our mother. I was a disaster and I always hated it, but Caterina was really good. Do you like?".  
"Here's one thing that I took from you".


	12. The surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pacho makes his choice

"I want to give myself up and Chepe too" says Pacho savoring the tequila, while looking at his brother in the eye "But first there are two things I have to do...".  
Alvaro takes the bottle and takes a long sip.  
"What about your knight?".  
"Javier and I never had a future, we were just a whim of each other".  
Alvaro rubs his eyes "I understand that you owe a lot to Chepe, Miguel and Gilberto, but your boyfriend has saved our lives".  
"Javier is a good man, Alvaro, I'm not".  
The younger man hands him the bottle and Pacho takes another sip.  
"I know you consider them as a family, but don't you think the time has come to think about yourself?".  
Pacho frowns at his brother.  
“You have always worked for someone, taken care of their business and desires, convincing you, that it were yours too. And I know that you have faith the Rodríguez agreement with politicians, but what if things go wrong? You should know that your boyfriend is quite unpredictable and also the men who work for him".  
Pacho snorts "I don't care about the 'if' and the 'but', Alvaro, I am faithful to my family and to you".  
"I? Becuse am I in a wheelchair, do you think I can't handle it? I am no longer a child, Hélmer, I am fine. You should think about yourself, you are the fourth head of the snake they want to cut and Javier won't be able to protect you if he doesn't get something or if your relationship comes to light. Why don't you go with him to America to live a new life? I'll be fine".  
"This is not the point, Alvaro!".  
It was very rare for Hélmer Pacho Herrera to scream and from this reaction that the younger man understands how his brother is in crisis. He understands how a deep conflict is wearing down his soul.  
Pacho takes another sip of tequila recovering his composure.  
"I remain faithful to my family, just as Javier remains faithful to his principles".  
Alvaro takes his hand and squeezes it "I don't want you to end up killed, I don't want you to spend a life in jail full of regrets".  
Pacho sighs "I make my choices and accept the consequences".  
Alvaro nods, taking back the bottle of tequila and taking a long sip.  
Pacho gets up and gives him a kiss on the cheek "I love you, little brother".

Why isn't he surprised when Javier learns from Salcedo that the Colombian government is corrupt? And when the system that is supposed to protect you is screwed, you find a way to fuck it yourself. And, for once, everything goes as planned and Miguel Rodríguez has no wall to hide.  
He returns to his apartment in Bogotá completely tired and pissed off with politics and his country, but Javier will not swallow that pill. He will not be silent, while the criminals get away with the American and Colombian government who parry his ass.  
He finds it strange that it was Bill who tried to make him swallow that pill by sweetening it, but what Bill does not know is that, every time Javier sees him, he pisses him off more and more and pushes him to make bullshit that circumvent the will of the politicians .  
Javier never cared about being a hero, he only knows that he wants to do justice at the cost of his reputation and work, he will force the hand of all those politicians.  
It could be the end of his career for what he's about to do, but on the one hand the story that he fucked a narcos could have the same effect. Javier has always considered himself a more daring than intelligent type.  
"You were late...".  
A familiar voice takes him out of his thoughts and makes him have a heart attack.  
Pacho is in the living room, sitting on the sofa, an illegible expression on his face.  
"What are you doing here?".  
“Isn't it obvious? It seems to me that Chepe has already surrender".  
"Did you come to constitute yourself?"  
“At first I thought of getting arrested in a church, but getting arrested by you would be an honor. Also, I don't want to go to jail right away”.  
Pacho gets up and approaches the DEA agent.  
"I guess what you want..." comments Javier and then Pacho's mouth collides with hers.  
The narcos's hands touch his ass and then caress his hips, but Javier grabs his hands separating from him and looking him in the eyes.  
“You know I won't give up. Part of me desperately wants you to stay away from prison to stay by my side, but the other part of me, the one who has fought all this time, wants to see you march to jail for all that you have done. He wants to sink Colombian politics at the cost of my life and my career...".  
Pacho is not surprised or angry, he frees himself from Javier's grip and caresses him cheek "I understood this from the first time I saw you".  
Now it's the DEA agent who kisses him and opens his shirt.  
"I never told you..." Pacho speaks and then moans when Javier presses his torso with his fingers to feel his warm skin and grabs his right nipple between his teeth.  
"I never told you that I love you with the business suit".  
Pacho moans again as Javier kisses and nibbles the skin near the navel, the narcos runs his hand through his black hair squeezing them.  
"I never told you..." the DEA agent whispers nibbling his chin and kissing his neck "That I like so many to hear you moan with pleasure".  
In a sudden move, Javier pushes Pacho onto the sofa and then takes off his shoes and undoes his pants.  
The narcos makes the same mischievous smile and ready to tame, once again, this half Mexican wolf.

I'm in the bathtub, Pacho leaning to one side hugging Javier's back to hold him close, both immersed in hot water.  
"I killed the Salazar..." Pacho finally confesses.  
Javier sighs "The revenge in the cartels never ends...".  
The narcos frowns "What do you mean?".  
"That you are officially an enemy of Norte de Valle and they will try to kill you, probably in prison".  
"You worry too much, there is a new agreement made by Miguel, which in exchange for peace required the deaths of the family".  
Javier laughs shaking his head "Do you really think this matters to them?".  
"I had dreams, until I got rid of them, or rather I had a dream".  
"Which?".  
"I dreamed that we were both naked in your bed in the apartment in Medellín" says Pacho kissing Javier's shoulders "We were relaxing in the bed, but then all the people I have had against in my whole life entered the door and the windows" .  
The narcos wraps his narrower arms around his chest, as if afraid that he will disappear if he lets him go.  
“They immobilized me while they beat you. Every time I wake up believing that the screams that I hear in my ears are yours, but I realize gradually that they are mine".  
Javier sighs kissing his hands "If it can comfort you, I never really stopped having the dream of the severed heads".  
"Our fears..." comments Pacho.  
"Our concerns..." approves Javier.  
Both huddle closer to each other.  
"How did it go with Don Berna?" the curious narcos changes the subject.  
“Better than I expected. There has always been something that pushed me to trust him and now I know what and why".  
Pacho snorts a laugh "I can't believe you're related to him".  
"Don't start...".  
"Now that I think about it, you have the same hair..." he teases him, passing a hand through the dark tufts.  
"I love when you are like this...".  
"As well as?".  
Javier loosens the narcos' grip to turn towards him and touch his face "When that cold mask isn't there, when Pacho isn't there and you're just Hélmer...".  
The narcos brushes his cheeks "Maybe you're the only one in the world who has seen me for who I really am, only you".  
"Why dont you come with me? You don't run away from Colombia without making any deal. In the end it is still a surrender, you have always withdrawn from crime".  
"Javi..." Sighs wearily Pacho.  
"I know, I wanted to try...".  
"Javi, I'll come back to you when it's all over. In one way or another, I will come back to you".  
The DEA agent shakes him hands. “I wish it were possible. I wish I hadn't fallen in love with you and, at the same time, I think it's the best thing that has happened to me. And, the thing I will have to live with for the rest of my life, is that what will happen to you in prison will be, in part, my cause... ".  
Pacho raises him chin so that their eyes look at each other.  
“I killed the Salazar and I accept the consequences. I chose my family instead of love and accept the consequences. I choose the surrender instead the run and accept the consequences "speaks slow and serious Pacho and then put his lips close to him ear "I am proud of what you have done, because you have not betrayed your principles and you have not forced me to betray mine. You have always been honest with me and yourself, I have met very few men like you. I love you, Javier".  
It was the first time he had told him...

Everyone present silently stares at Agent Peña personally escorting Pacho Herrera in prison.  
The grates open, Javier's fingers are laid on the back of the narcos, when they close they will be separated.  
The DEA agent puts his lips to the other's ear "I love you, Hélmer" whispers honest and delicate.  
Pacho swallows loudly, a sign that he has understood what he has told him, then takes two steps forward and a guard takes him in Javier's place.  
A bad feeling embraces the stomach of the DEA agent, something inside him tells him that he will never see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take a minute of your time to ask if you would like it if I write a one shot or a short AU-style story with Javier as narcos, including the events taking place in 'narcos: mexico'.  
> If you are interested with whom would you like to see our Javier related? The choice is between Felix and Amado.  
> Thanks for your time.


	13. The end of the games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pacho is in prison, while Javier finally talks to his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all guys,  
> we are almost at the end of this adventure. Thanks for everyone who supported and commented me, you are fantastic ❤  
> A little warning for this chapter, I'm very sorry... but remember that it is not the last of this story.  
> Thanks for your attention, see you next week with the ending.  
> Happy reading and thanks again for your support.❤

Toasting as they did before Gilberto's arrest, Pacho takes a sip, but his mind is elsewhere.  
The younger man taps the edge of the glass with his fingers, he immersed in his thoughts, while Gilberto looks at him frowning and notices the bruise in the shape of teeth on Pacho's neck.  
Cali's chief sighs "That funeral face again".  
Chepe and Miguel follow Gilberto's gaze, noting the mood of their partner.  
"What is it about?" Miguel asks.  
Chepe pats him on the back, nodding to the youngest member of the group "Our Pachito has fallen in love".  
Pacho shakes his head realizing the speeches of his colleagues "It is not important".  
"And the boy from Medellín?" Gilberto asks ignoring the other's comment.  
"It must be something serious" notes Miguel "You're usually legible as a brick wall, but now you're so distressed".  
"In my opinion he is the only man who managed to break that mask of indifference" says Chepe.  
Pacho sighs "Yes, he's the boy from Medellín and I said goodbye to him yesterday".  
The three men look at him with a frown and with their mouths contracted.  
Chepe snorts disappointed “When this mess is over we will all come out clean, rich and free. And you can take your boyfriend to the party we will are having, so we can get to know him".  
"This is an excellent idea, I would love to know the man who conquered the heart of Pacho Herrera" agrees Miguel.  
"I doubt he'll come to that party and then... if things don't go as planned?".  
"You are so pessimistic Pachito" Gilberto smiles "And then you talk about him as if he were an agent of the DEA".  
Pacho bites his lip and the three men smile, finding it really ironic.  
'He is...' the younger man wants to tell him, but there are other words that come out of his mouth "He's half mexican...".  
"Maybe it's worse" comments Miguel making the others laugh and then refills everyone's glasses.  
"Another toast for our Pachito, we are all happy for you" Gilberto smiles, raising his glass "To love".  
"To love" the others say in chorus and a forced smile plows across Pacho's face, he just can't pretend to be confident and happy...  
'If they knew the truth? How would they react? ' reflects the young narcos and a part of him is curious to know the answer to this question, but fortunately his brain is still active and reproaches him for going so far on his bond with Javier with his colleagues.

The accountant, Salcedo's testimony, the book with all those numbers that tell of government corruption. And, surprise, it's not enough.  
Javier plays his last card telling everything to the press and the people.  
Concise and detailed he tells everything to the journalist.  
They are at the end of the interview and Javier is biting his nervous lip, Pacho is the dagger that the CIA has against him, their relationship...  
"Is there anything else, Agent Peña?" the blonde woman asks hesitantly to turn off the tape recorder.  
"Yes" responds by making a decision "To prevent my government from using this information to discredit my credibility, I think it is better that it comes from my mouth and tells you the truth without being corrupted or manipulated by the lies of those who would like to silence me".  
The journalist nods, leaving the tape recorder on and picking up the pen with the notebook.  
"Since the hunt with Escobar, I have established a sexual and romantic relationship".  
The woman seems truly surprised by the statement, but does not interrupt Javier.  
"This may not seem of great importance if it were not that the person in question, whose name I will not name for his safety, is strongly linked to the Cali cartel".  
The pen in the journalist's hand slides over the sheet and the woman stares at Javier with her mouth open.  
“We met by chance in a nightclub in Medellín. At the beginning I had no idea who this person was and it was just about sex".  
The reporter recover from her surprised state "You said 'at the beginning' and before you said 'sexual and romantic relationship', so you want to tell me that you are closely tied to this person?".  
"Yes" says Javier "Despite me, after our second meeting, I learned about his true identity and what he was doing. This didn't stop me from falling in love with this person".  
"Did you and this person exchange information about your respective activities?".  
"No" replies Javier honestly "It was an unspoken pact between us. The fact that we had a lot of trouble to catch the godparents of Cali and they have had a lot of problems because of us, indicates that we have been sincere between us and faithful to our cause".  
"You told me you love this person, are your feelings reciprocated?".  
Javier smiles thinking back to the 'I love you' said by Pacho “Yes, I really think so. This person is the opposite of me, always calm and always thinks before speaking".  
“Earlier, Agent Peña, he told me that the person in question is related to the Cali cartel. Could I know how far? Is one of the most trusted hit men or someone else?".  
"If I said, it would be too much and I don't want to endanger this person".  
"I understand that, despite everything, the person he loves is still alive?".  
"Yes" just says Javier without going into details or comments.  
The interview ends and the journalist looks at the DEA agent as an enigma.  
"Let me guess, he didn't expect this from me".  
The woman nods "I think you were very stupid to make this confession, but also very brave".  
The DEA agent smiles and nods.  
“Can I ask you a personal question, Agent Peña? One thing that will remain between us".  
"It depends".  
"It was worth it? Your choices have pushed you far and you could never see each other again. Was it worth what you went through together?".  
“Coming here to Colombia was a nightmare and a real challenge, but positive things also happened. I met good and honest people during work, I was able to reunite with a part of my family. And then I met that person... no, I never regretted our chance meeting. I have never regretted the feelings I have, but our story is beyond our control. The fact that this person never tried to manipulate or use me, to make life easier for his colleagues, and respected my choices, pushed me to love him even more".

"I want you to leave!" shouts the ambassador "In this country everyone wants it".  
Javier nods and is about to speak, but the older man anticipates him.  
"And if you think you're going to see your boyfriend in prison to say goodbye, I doubt they'll let you pass" he says harshly.  
Javier sighs, he wouldn't have gone to Pacho anyway, too risky. He and the narcos had already said goodbye last night in that apartment, before taking him to prison. They had agreed that it was too risky for both of them that Javier had come to prison or called him. Especially now that the service had aired.  
"I submitted my resignation to the DEA this morning" at the end Javier speaks with indifferent voice and expression, something from Pacho learned it...  
The ambassador looks at him, narrowing his eyes and with his mouth contracted, a mixture of challenge and surprise on his face.  
"It was a pleasure, sir," says Javier and then turns around and leaves the office.  
That afternoon Javier Peña leaves for the United States leaving half of his heart in Colombia.

Pacho runs his hand over his eyes as he watches television, like every single person in this prison.  
"An agent of the DEA has called the country a narco-democracy" the journalist speaks clearly and concisely, triggering various reactions between amazement and anger throughout the building.  
Pacho smiles, that bastard really did it... he screwed them all. They, the government, the CIA...  
The narcos would really like to laugh, but with difficulty he holds back. He can't even be mad at Javier, ansi, he feels proud of him. He was loyal to his promises and he screwed the system...  
"From the DEA agent's testimony, he claims to have had an affair with a member of the Cali cartel" the reporter continues her speech and the smile on Pacho's face goes out.  
Chaos is unleashing around him. He sees Chepe, Miguel and Gilberto discuss the matter, while Pacho's fingers tighten on the sleeves of his shirt. Pacho thanks that his name didn't come out, but understands why Javier should have done it... for his credibility.  
One of the prison guards approaches the four godparents from Cali.  
"Excuse me, Mr. Herrera, there is someone who wants to talk to you".  
Pacho nods, not showing his surprise and nervousness to his colleagues. He justifies himself with Miguel, Chepe and Gilberto by saying that it must have been Manuel or his visiting brother. He had not forced Manuel to prison just for his company, after all what he had done for Pacho and after what had been between them owed him.  
His colleagues are too focused on their discussions of what the news has said to pay attention to the younger man.  
On the way to the visiting room, Pacho clenches his fists, Javier is an idiot if he has come to greet him or to comfort him. He swears he will strangle him.  
Pacho enters alone the visiting room arranged for the meetings of the godparents with anyone who asked for them.  
"You really are an idiot..." says the narcos as soon as he sees the man in the room, but then his eyes open wide in surprise.  
"Mr. Herrera, you haven't seen each other for a while".

"Do you think you accept the proposal?" asks his father, as they fix the fence "Mexico is different, let me tell you".  
"Dad" Javier calls him "I've done enough, I'm done" he says honestly.  
A thousand thoughts pour into the head of the former DEA agent, afraid of becoming attached and losing his colleagues, of leaving his father without a son, of falling in love again... and if he was dragged into a feud in his own family without knowing it?  
Every night he dreams of Pacho and they are not always pleasant. When it comes to nightmares, he dreams of a thousand different ways in which the man he loves can end up killed in prison.  
"Javi..." Chucho calls him "Ever since you came back, you seem not to be here with me. What else happened over there? ".  
Javier snorts a laugh "I fell in love".  
The older man sighs observing his son "And is it a bad thing?".  
"It wasn't for you...".  
"What? Fall in love?".  
"Fall in love with a drug dealer".  
The hammer in Chucho's hand falls and stares at Javier with his mouth open.  
“I am... I was an agent of the DEA and, perhaps, one of the best. Then I find that my blood tells a completely different story” there is no accusation or reproach in Javier's tone, he is just tired. Tired of Colombia and its parents' past.  
Chucho takes a deep breath, a question about his language, but Javier anticipates it.  
"Diego Murillo Bejarano" says in one breath "I know he is my uncle".  
Chucho has a defeated expression on his face “I never thought that the past could reach me and, in fact, it didn't. It has reached you... ".  
“Don Berna... my mother's brother told me what you were doing before. He told me that my fate had been decided before I was born. He told me that I am the reason my mother convinced herself to run away with you".  
Chucho takes off his hat to wipe the sweat from his forehead “I didn't want that life for you or Caterina. In Mexico there was an ongoing war between marijuana growers and the powerful who could pay for an army or police. I hated that life. One month to cultivate, another to dodge bullets or to shoot and the next to replant the seeds between ash and blood. I was tired of fighting for something illegal that only brought us trouble".  
Javier finishes fixing the fence "Why didn't you tell me who you were before?".  
“We wanted to forget, Javi. We loved our families and it was painful to leave, sometimes I still hear my brother's screams too proud to tell me that he doesn't want me to leave, but Caterina and I wanted more than a life of illegality. She gave me the courage to run away and you gave it to her".  
"Berna told me all this, he told me that you were very much in love".  
Chucho nods "Diego has always been a good man, like his father, has he treated you well?".  
"Such as an uncle to a nephew" Javier replies sincerely "He says I look a lot like his father".  
"Yes" confirms Chucho. "You are almost identical to Javier Murillo. Caterina loved her father and for this she gave you him name".  
The former DEA agent shakes off the sweat "You changed your surname...".  
"And I also did well with what happened in Mexico" says Chucho loading the tools onto the jeep.  
"So I was right he thought it was your side of the family I had to worry about" Javier hurries to join his father in the car.  
"Yes..." replies the older honest man "But since you won't go to Mexico you don't need to know anything else".  
Javier observes his father who has a thoughtful expression.  
"Do you want to know, Javi?".  
"No..." finally confesses "Better not. Being from Sinaloa the worst is to be related to Felix Gallardo”.  
Chucho takes a brief look at him biting his lip.  
"Dad?!".  
"I didn't say anything".  
Javier runs his hands over his face sighing.  
"Javi" his father draws his attention "You said you fell in love with a drug dealer".  
"Yes..." replies the younger man "Dad... he's not a woman".  
Chucho shrugs “I don't have a Middle Ages mentality, Javi. I never cared if she was Loren or that boy who broke your heart. What was it called? The one who went to Oregon to study".  
"Larry Parker".  
"Yes, I got pissed at him for how he left you, not because he was a boy".  
"We were kids...".  
"It doesn't justify the fact that he left you the day before leaving for Oregon, without telling you about his plans!".  
The younger man smiles shaking his head.  
At the end Chucho snorts changing the topic "How is this boy you fell in love with?".  
"He is.... Pacho...".  
"A calm person" reflects his father on the meaning of the Spanish word.  
"Yes".  
"All your opposite".  
"Thanks Dad".  
“It must be something serious, right? Since you came back you have been absent, with your mind elsewhere".  
"It's a long story, Dad".  
"It is fortunate that I want to check the whole fence before going home".

Javier tells him everything: their first meeting in Medellín, the Daiquiri in the face of Pacho, the bomb at the wedding, the last time they met in Medellín, the dinner in Bogota, the race to Juárez and their farewell.  
Father and son have just returned home, evening has come, and Javier has just finished the story.  
"Do you miss it, Javi?".  
"Yes" he replies honestly "I miss sleeping next to him, I miss the fact of teasing him and I miss the sound of his voice".  
Chucho takes off his jacket and hangs it with his hat “Thanks for telling me, Javi. I would love to know how to help you" the father thoughtfully tells him "I would tell you to go to him and take him away from there, but in doing so you would endanger both after your chat with the reporters. I would tell you to find some agreements with the government, but now you are out of the DEA and your Hélmer is still a narcos who has committed crimes”.  
"Aren't you angry at the person I fell in love with?".  
"Why should I be, Javi? I am the last person who can judge you. Do you think I, in Mexico more than 30 years ago, didn't commit crimes? Do you think I didn't shoot the men who burned our crops? And I know you probably got your hands dirty in your work too. The truth is that if you venture into this world you cannot remain clean".  
Chucho lays a hand on his son's shoulder "I'm proud of you, for everything you've done".  
The younger man nods happy to hear him "I'm proud of you and mom too".  
Chucho frowns in confusion.  
"You were good parents".  
"You're getting sentimental, Javi" smiles the older man and then pats him on the shoulder and heads for the kitchen.  
The phone rings immediately after and Javier answers.  
"Peña".  
"Javi...".  
The eyes of the former DEA agent widen in surprise "How did you get this number...? No, don't answer this question".  
Don Berna sighs "How are you?".  
"Well, why are you calling me? I am no longer an agent of the DEA, I cannot help you if things go badly in Medellín”.  
"I'm not calling for this".  
"Do you want to talk to Dad?".  
"Javi..." the voice of Don Berna is serious and sad "It's about Pacho".  
Javier's voice gets stuck in the throat.  
“I'm sorry Javi, really. I thought it would be better if I came to know the news from me".  
"What..." the younger man's voice makes a great effort to come out "What happened?".  
"He was shot in the courtyard during a football game, one shot in the back and one in the head".  
Javier's world stops, he no longer hears what Don Berna says, he doesn't hear his heart pump in his ears. He only feels a strong sense of emptiness with a thousand daggers piercing his chest.  
Chucho Peña returns from the kitchen to ask his son who he was on the phone, but what he finds upsets him. Javier is leaning against the wall with an empty and absent gaze, the hand holding the phone trembles, like the chest of the younger man.  
"Javi?" his father calls him, Javier passes the phone in his hand and then leaves the house.  
"Yes...?" asks the older man.  
"Hi, Chucho" a familiar voice replies on the other side "Javier was not yet born the last time we met".  
"Diego..." he says in one breath "I never imagined hearing from you".  
"Unfortunately we will have to postpone the chat, now you have to stay close to Javi...".

Javier comes out into the fresh evening air, his right hand clutches his chest at heart level, the pain is so strong that he is tempted to tears his heart out.  
His legs give way and he finds herself kneeling in the dust with her eyes clouded by tears. The feeling of guilt suffocates his throat and leans forward placing his forehead in the ground with his fingers that grabs the tufts of dry grass in a desperate attempt to stop shaking.


	14. Herrera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pact is signed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all guys,  
> thank you very much to all those who have followed this adventure and supported on this journey. I hope not to disappoint your expectations with this ending. ❤  
> In this regard, if you want a more realistic ending and faithful to the original plot, you can safely stop at the previous chapter, otherwise happy reading!😊  
> I apologize if you have encountered errors in English, since not my mother tongue.  
> For the rest, thank you very much, I would like to know which part you liked the most.
> 
> Lastly, in the future, I will probably make a new story based on Javi's kinships that I created in this story. An AU who sees Javi as narcos and working for Felix together with his cousin... you understand who he is, right? Amado has been chosen!  
> And our Javier will have to enter into business with a Columbian with a certain talent for business...
> 
> Anyway, thanks again to all of you, it made me really happy to write this story and share it with you, I hope I did a good job.  
> Until next time😘

Pacho is completely surprised to see the DEA agent.  
"I never expected to see you again, agent Murphy".  
The blond man shrugs. "I'm not here for you, Mr. Herrera" he says, sitting down at one of the tables.  
Pacho looks around cautiously, they are alone and there seems to be no cameras or microphones in sight.  
"Nobody listens to us, everyone thinks you're meeting your brother or one of your lovers" explains Steve.  
Pacho sits across from him and now notices a yellow folder on the table.  
"What are you doing here, agent Murphy?".  
"Job" Steve replies honestly "And for a person that you and I have in common".  
Pacho relaxes in the chair by taking a cigarette and offering one to the DEA agent who gladly accepts.  
Both smoke tobacco, Steve is the first to speak and opens the yellow folder by pulling out the documents.  
"You will die within these walls, Pacho, after that television service, the Cali cartel is finished" says the blonde "Norte de Valle will ask for your blood and it is a matter of time before you die with a bullet on the head or a knife in the back, but you already know this".  
Pacho doesn't seem to be surprised or upset, Steve wonders how he manages to keep calm in every situation, how does he make it seem that nothing disturbs him?  
“Javier warned me of this possibility, he warned me that he would not stop. And he succeeded in his mission".  
"Are you angry with him?".  
Pacho snorts a laugh “Not at all, in fact, I'm proud of what he's done. We both built our relationship knowing that neither of us would go to the side other" the narcos savor the cigarette by blowing the smoke from his mouth, while looking at the agent of the DEA in the eyes "This has not stopped us in continuing to meet us and It's one of the reasons that made us fall in love, Agent Murphy. We are the weak point of each other and Javier has been able to exploit it to his advantage by fucking your system and our corruption”.  
Steve shakes his head "You, Mr. Herrera, are the most intelligent and illegible man I have ever met".  
"There is only one man, Agent Murphy, who has scratched this wall" says the narcos, pointing to his face.  
"You and Javier seem opposite".  
Pacho shrugs “We have found that I will be killed in this prison for revenge. So what are you doing here, Agent Murphy?".  
Steve hands him the documents.  
"A new identity, we will pretend your death so that no one will hunt you down, in exchange for information and your advice in the future".  
"I won't betray my partners".  
A smile appears on the face of the DEA agent "The Cali cartel is over, Mr. Herrera, and you died in prison. As valuable as your information about your colleagues may be, we are aiming for another shoal of fish”.  
Pacho contracts his mouth and crosses his legs "Do you want information on Norte de Valle?".  
Steve nods "A little bird told me that you've worked for them for a few years and, knowing you, I think you know everything the cartel does, especially in the harbor areas".  
Pacho smiles "So Don Berna really loves Javier".  
Steve opens his mouth in amazement "How...?".  
“You said it before, Agent Murphy, I am the most intelligent and illegible man you have ever met. Don Berna did the same thing with Judy Moncada by making her become a DEA informant. This makes me think that the old narcos will call Javier telling him about my death so that if there was someone to keep an eye on him from the CIA or the DEA, they will only see a man destroyed. A necessary suffering ...".  
The narcos examines the documents "Where will the interrogation take place?".  
"In Miami" Steve replies slightly stunned by the other man's intuition "When you have told us everything there will be new identity documents waiting for you".  
The DEA agent puts out the cigarette in the ashtray and pulls out a pen and places it on the table.  
“It's your choice, Mr. Herrera, you will have to leave everything behind if you accept. Your life, your surname, your family".  
Pacho grabs the pen "One condition, I want to talk to them one last time and write a letter to my brother".  
Steve nods "You have until tomorrow morning, then you will disappear from this nation".  
Pacho signs the documents and shakes hands with agent Murphy.

All four have dinner together discussing the news they heard on television.  
Eventually Pacho clears his throat attracting the attention of others "I have to... I have to tell you something".  
The three narcos are surprised by the insecure tone and uncertain expression of the younger one.  
"Did something happen...?" Chepe asks worriedly.  
"Yes, but it happened some time ago in Medellín".  
The three narcos put the cutlery on the table, staring puzzled at Pacho.  
"I fell in love" he says finally.  
The three men exchange a confused look and then burst out laughing "We know, Pachito" says Gilberto, patting him on the shoulder.  
The younger man clenches his fists nervously, an implacable expression furrows his face, erasing the insecurities of a short while ago. His colleagues understand the seriousness of the situation and are ready to listen.  
"I fell in love with a person who is completely opposed to me, both in character and profession" continues Pacho looking one by one at the three men, his family.  
"Gilberto has already met him in person".  
Cali's chief widens his eyes completely snapped understanding immediately the link "Tell me who is not who I think he is...".  
Chepe is not sure to understand, but Miguel gets up from his seat furiously "Did you fuck the man who hunted us?!".  
Pacho sighs, leaning back on the chair, so that all three of them face each other.  
"Yes" answers honestly.  
Chepe sighs running his hand over his face, Miguel grits his teeth trying not to strangle him and Gilberto has an illegible expression.  
"You betrayed us!" exclaims the Rodríguez minor.  
Pacho glares at him with the look "I've never betrayed you".  
"Don't lie to me" Miguel growls, but Gilberto grabs his brother's arm by dragging him to sit down.  
"If Pachito had betrayed us" Chepe is speaking reasoning "He wouldn't be here with us and his boyfriend wouldn't have used the press to fuck us".  
"In addition" intervenes Gilberto "The DEA would not have made all this effort to find our hiding places".  
Miguel bites his lip thoughtful.  
"You are my family" says Pacho "And I was clear with Javier, he wouldn't betray his principles and I wouldn't betray mine. Despite what he did for me and Alvaro... ".  
Chepe frowns "What did he do for you?".  
"Through wiretapping he learned about Norte de Valle and the attack on my life in Juárez, and he came to help me and my brother" replies honestly the younger man "He probably saved our lives".  
"Did he come with a DEA team?" Gilberto asks, not sure that he has understood correctly.  
"No" Pacho sighs "Javier is more daring than intelligent".  
Chepe bursts out laughing "That man really has balls!".  
Miguel bites his lip visibly calmer than before “Why are you telling us, Pacho? Why now?".  
"You are my family" he confesses. "I wanted to tell you because I don't know what will happen to any of us. Politics will now turn its back on us to save his asses".  
Pacho loosens his relaxed position by standing straight with his back “I thought you deserved to know it, to know that I found a person with whom I want to be staying myself, without hiding behind a mask of calculation and indifference. A person who accepts me for who I am”.  
Pacho looks into Gilberto's eyes "Ever since I know you, I pretended you were my father".  
Cali's chief stands up and gestures for the younger man to do the same.  
"Come" he says, hugging him and patting him on the back. Pacho returns the embrace slowly, completely surprised by Gilberto's action.  
"You know that if one of us ever meets Agent Peña, he will kill him".  
Pacho nods "I know".  
Both are released from the embrace, Miguel is still in his place to accept everything, while Chepe is with his arms crossed thinking.  
"That's why you were so worried about your relationship".  
Pacho shrugs "I don't think it matters anymore".  
Chepe snorts and gets up and kisses the younger man's forehead "If I know one thing about life, it's that it's unpredictable, little brother".  
That was the last time Cali's godparents were together...

A week has passed since Don Berna's call and Javier was a living corpse, he barely ate and said little more than two words.  
"I'm going to visit mom at the cemetery, do you want to come?" Chucho asks during breakfast.  
"No..." Javier replies "Yesterday's storm broke the fence again, I wanted to fix it".  
"It's not a one-person job, Javi".  
"It may be, it will take me longer, but manual work helps me not to think".  
Chucho is about to retort, but his son gives him a pleading look.  
"Okay" eventually yields "But don't kill yourself with work".  
"Thanks dad".

When Chucho leaves his property he heads to the Laredo cemetery, he brings beautiful flowers to his wife. He is not at all surprised by the man waiting for him in front of the tombstone.  
"Diego...".  
"Chucho...".  
The Mexican deposits the flowers and the Colombian places a small frame of an old family photo, both staring at the tombstone.  
"He left you a letter" says Chucho, pulling an envelope out of his jacket "when he learned he couldn't do it, he wrote several letters to various people from his past. Perhaps he knew in his heart that the past would reach us sooner or later... ".  
Don Berna grabs the envelope with trembling hands and the emotion in his throat, breathes lunge placing the object in his jacket.  
"Thanks, Chucho" he says sincerely, he is determined to read it when he is alone.  
"How's Javier doing?".  
"In pieces, I've never seen him so depressed".  
"I'm sure things will improve".  
Someone clears his throat and Chucho turns to find a man with brown eyes and brown hair and the age of his son, is looking at him respectfully.  
"Good morning, Mr. Peña".

Javier is arranging the barbed wire around the poles when he pauses to wipe the sweat from his forehead and massage the muscles of his arms.  
He hears someone approaching him.  
“I'm halfway through the job, Dad. Do you need a hand for lunch?”.  
"I think your uncle is helping him, they have a lot to talk about".  
The voice immobilizes every muscle of Javier, he turns slowly and hesitantly thinking that it is only a hallucination.  
Hélmer Pacho Herrera is there, dressed in casual clothes and an uncertain expression.  
Javier opens his mouth and then closes it again feeling the dizziness that drags him down, leans heavily on the fence without worrying about injuring himself with barbed wire.  
Pacho runs to his side to stabilize him, the former DEA agent has a low look and shortness of breath for the shock.  
"Javi, I'm sorry I made you suffer" the narcos says holding him by the hips "It was all a plan of Don Berna, your friend Murphy and other members of the DEA and your government".  
Javier resumes normal breathing, Pacho's words filter through his brain helping him understand. The narcos explains everything to him clearly and concisely: the information that Pacho would have given about Norte de Valle and his advice for the future, in exchange for a new identity and his 'death'.  
Eventually the narcos grabs his face, noting that Javier seems to have recovered from the shock "I told you I would come back to you..." he whispers.  
The former DEA agent shakes his head grabbing Pacho's shoulder and the narcos is about to kiss him, if it were not for an outburst of anger takes hold of Javier's mind and a violent punch hits the other's face and sends him to the ground.  
Pacho stares at him with his mouth open and his nose bleeding, but he isn't entirely surprised by Javier's reaction.  
"Fuck you!" these are the first words that come out of the mouth of the former DEA agent.  
He angrily approaches the narcos, straddling him with his fist raised "I spent a hellish week thinking you was dead!".  
Javier's fist hits the ground on the right side of Pacho's face, the former DEA agent stares at those dark brown eyes that are studying him and soften as their crossed glances linger.  
"I'm sorry... I'm here now..." the narcos sincerely says, grasping his wrists gently to ease the tension on the other man's body.  
Javier sighs, feeling as if an enormous weight is taking off from his chest.  
The former DEA agent snorts irritably, breaking Pacho's grip to grab him by the shirt and slam their mouths together.  
The kiss is desperate, a part of Javier is afraid that this is just a dream, but gradually it becomes sweeter and the two men end up sitting facing each other in the earth. They do not stop touching and kissing each other, until their bodies are united in a close embrace.

It's time for lunch, Chucho and Don Berna watch them come back and are not surprised to find the two younger men covered in dust and Pacho with blood on his face.  
Javier goes in front of his uncle, Don Berna extends a hand for a squeeze, but the former DEA agent embraces him.  
"You are crazy!" Javier tells him between exasperation and gratitude, his way of saying thank you.  
"Here's another thing you took from your mother's family" comments Don Berna giving a kiss on the grandson's forehead.  
Chucho passes a wet cloth to Pacho who thanks him and then wipes the blood and dust off him, while uncle and nephew dissolve the embrace.  
"I guess you still don't know the real surname of your father" says Don Berna and everyone turns to Chucho, who shrugs.  
"He certainly cannot be related to my Mexican friend Amado Carrillo Fuentes, he is also from Sinaloa" says Pacho jokingly.  
The younger men smile, but Don Berna keeps his eyes on the ground and Chucho bites his lip with a mixture of anxiety and surprise on the face.  
Javier and Pacho stop laughing, the elderly Mexican man enters the house, while the Colombian elderly man cannot look into the younger men 's eyes.  
The former DEA agent chases his father "Dad?!".  
"You said that, not me" Chucho replies defensively.


End file.
